Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Season 4 Episode 14: "PTV" Quotes
Hello, and welcome to another edition of Midnight Q. Tonight we're gonna enjoy some jazz from Charles Mingus. Norman Maylor's here to read an excerpt from his latest work. And we also have a girl from Omaha hiding a banana. We're gonna find out where. Giggity giggity. Giggity goo. Stick around.
Quagmire
Lois: You were right Peter
Peter: No way! I finally get to do this!
[pulls on a rope which drops balloons and confetti and unrolls a banner that says Peter's Right]
Peter: I had that set up fifteen years ago. Hey where's the clown?
Lois: We have to do something about the FCC. Pack your bags, Peter, we're going to Washington DC.
[skeleton with a clown nose and a rainbow afro wig falls from the ceiling]
Peter: Oh, there he is.
Lois: Peter, what are you doing? What is all this stuff?
Chris: Dad's starting his own tv station, but I'm not supposed to tell mom, because she's just gonna bitch him out.
Bob Hope briefly came back to life today; only to die in a tragic motorcycle accident.
Tom Tucker
Peter: You're on TV, so I came to you for advice.
Tom Tucker: Peter, I'm flattered that you came to me and we'll be back after these messages...and we're back. Peter, if you want to control content, you'll have to start your own TV station.
Peter: AAaack! What are you doing?
FCC Guy: Censoring real life.
FCC Guy 2: His chin looks like balls. You want me to censor those too?
Chris: Are we there yet?
Lois: No Chris honey, we're not.
Chris: Are we there yet?
Lois: No, Chris.
Chris: Are we there yet?
Lois: Yes, Chris, yes okay! We're there!
Chris: Liar!
Welcome to the Peter Griffin side boob hour. A wonderful look back on all the partial nudity network television used to offer. Look at that side boob. Check out this side boob. How 'bout that side boob? That turn you on? Well it shouldn't because that's my side boob. Goodnight everybody!
Peter
This is a message to all American infidels. Prepare to die in a sea of holy fire. You will be punished for your decadent ways on the first day of Radaman. You...(laughing) Wait, wait a minute. Did I just say? What did I say...Radaman? (stammering) Bla-bla-bla. Ra-ma-dan. Radaman...what is that? Yeah, maybe Dennis Radaman is gonna punish you with his crazy hair.
Bin Laden
Brian: East of Eden? So, you pretty much read whatever Oprah tells you to, huh?
Stewie: Hey, this book has been around for fifty years. It's a classic.
Brian: But you just bought it last week. And there's an Oprah sticker on it!
Stewie: Oh, is that what that is? I'll just peel that right off.
Brian: So, what are you gonna read next?
Stewie: Well, she hasn't told us yet... Damn!