Brian: Peter, what are you doing?
Peter: Playing Unga Bunga. It's the championship.
Stewie: Go away! This is why Zillow estimates our house at $4.

• Permalink: Go away! This is why Zillow estimates our house at $4.
• Added: May 18, 2014

I'm glad we're staying together. Honestly, I don't know what I would do on my own. Like, I literally have no idea where food comes from. Is it that guy? Is he the food man?

Peter

• Permalink: I'm glad we're staying together. Honestly, I don't know what I would do on my own. Like, I...
• Added: May 18, 2014

Sir, I heard whimpering. Shall I fetch your crying tuxedo?

Butler

• Permalink: Sir, I heard whimpering. Shall I fetch your crying tuxedo?
• Added: May 18, 2014

Oh, it's starting! I'm gonna live-tweet the show and ruin it for everyone in other time zones.

Stewie

• Permalink: Oh, it's starting! I'm gonna live-tweet the show and ruin it for everyone in other time zones.
• Added: May 18, 2014

TV Announcer: We now return to Jeremy Piven in The Incredible Hulk.
Jeremy Piven: You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
Man: I don't like you now.

• Permalink: I don't like you now.
• Added: May 18, 2014

That's the Riddler. He would make inquiries to set your mind a-jumble.

Cleveland

• Permalink: That's the Riddler. He would make inquiries to set your mind a-jumble.
• Added: May 11, 2014

Did you see that? My dog had a gun.

Peter

• Permalink: Did you see that? My dog had a gun.
• Added: May 11, 2014

Lois: Peter, we gotta go talk to Donna.
Peter: Alright, but you need to cool down first, Lois. Find a way to channel your anger. What I do is throw a shot put into a crowd and make it look like an accident.

• Permalink: Alright, but you need to cool down first, Lois. Find a way to channel your anger. What I do...
• Added: May 11, 2014

Peter: I'm having an affair.
Lois: That's ridiculous.
Peter: It's not ridiculous, it's Cybill Shepherd. She's attainable for a guy like me now.

• Permalink: It's not ridiculous, it's Cybill Shepherd. She's attainable for a guy like me now.
• Added: May 11, 2014

Donna: Oh Lois, I'm so glad to see Peter and Cleveland back together again.
Lois: Yeah, me too. Now Peter will have something to do besides flushing the toilet to Foghat's "Slow Ride."

• Permalink: Yeah, me too. Now Peter will have something to do besides flushing the toilet to Foghat's...
• Added: May 11, 2014

Hey, Lois! Guess who made 15 baskets at the county fair? Some kid we beat up! What a great day!

Peter

• Permalink: Hey, Lois! Guess who made 15 baskets at the county fair? Some kid we beat up! What a great day!
• Added: May 04, 2014

Meg: Dad, sometimes I wonder why you even had a family.
Peter: I don't know...I was dating your mother, I don't like the way condoms feel, next thing you know, I got a mortgage, a kid, and a crappy job at a toy factory.

• Permalink: I don't know...I was dating your mother, I don't like the way condoms feel, next thing you...
• Added: May 04, 2014