Joe, don't you dare. I'll push you right into traffic.

Quagmire

Meg: I like the outfit you have on
Ida: Thank you, Meg. Who did your procedure.
Meg: Wow, you just burned your last friend in this room, lady.

Peter: Here's the deal: anything he lops off we get to bring home to Brian.
Lois: That's very green of you, Peter.

Lois: How do you know he's gay?
Peter: A lot of little things: the way he talks, his mannerisms, and he has the complete DVD set of Sex and the City between his butt cheeks.
Lois: Peter, no he didn't.
Peter: He had the DVD set. I was just being colorful with the rest of it.

It's gotta be a trainwreck down there. Just an absolute casserole of nonsense.

Stewie

Remember when we met him the other day, and he danced for a while?

Peter

The fact that your last name is Griffin is a pleasantry extended to you by the family, not a legality.

Peter

Brian: I don't like strawberry yogurt.
Stewie: Picky for someone who eats from a plastic bowl from the floor every day.

Brian: It's by Charles Dickens.
Stewie: Giggity.

I like what comes out of Lois' breasts better, but I like this too.

Stewie

Brian: Try what? I practically french kissed your butt.
Stewie: Yeah there was no practically about it.

Stewie: Got some dessert for you.
Brian: You got to be kidding me.
Stewie: Come on, it's just throw up. You like throw up.
Brian: I do. I do like throw up.

Family Guy Season 8 Quotes

Thanks honey, say hi to your husband. [device on his belt beeps] Oh, I've got AIDS again, better take my NyQuil Cold, Flu and AIDS. [takes pill] All gone!

Quagmire

Carnie: Step right up, step right up! You won't believe your eyes. Step right up and see the amazing half man, half clam.
Peter: What a ripoff, it's just Kim Cattrall sitting Indian style