Fargo
Sundays 10:00 PM on FXPopular Fargo Quotes
Oh, crap.
Judge
Lou: Ordered this kit of recipe cards, saw it on the TV. So now every night we eat delicacies of the world.
Hank: Some men like that. Variety.
Lou: She put a souffle on the table last night. Perfectly good casserole -- then lit it on fire with a kitchen match.
Hank: Huh?
Lou: Which reminds me, you're invited for dinner tomorrow.
Ed: Wouldn't that be great? Me owning the shop, maybe you take over the salon one day. You know, unless we have a whole litter of kids by then.
Peggy: Yeah, that's... we talked about that. We're trying. But it takes time, you know.
Ed: Yeah, yeah, of course. Though uh... hun, "trying," I mean... Last time I checked, there's just the one way to make a baby, you know?
Peggy: We did that last weekend, didn't we?
Unseen mafioso: Leaving who in charge?
Joe Bulo: Unclear. His wife Floyd -- she's tough but, you know, a girl. And then there are the three sons: Dodd, Bear and Rye. And of course they all want their shot at the throne. Which the boys in research think provides a tactical opportunity for us to move aggressively to acquire or absorb their operation.
Unseen mafioso: And if you can't? If the current business owners resist?
Joe Bulo: We liquidate.
Unseen mafioso: Approved.
Dodd: Are you listening to me? [to Hanzee] Is he listening to me?
Hanzee: You cut off his ears.
Dodd: Wake him up.
Hanzee: He's dead, I think.
Dodd: Weak.
Dodd: She shouldn't be in here.
Floyd: She's old enough. I told her to stay.
Dodd: She's a girl.
Floyd: And girls grow up to be women who change boys' diapers.
Dodd: Boss can't be a woman.
Floyd: Who says?
Floyd: Your grandfather left the ashes of the Weimar republic and came to this country to build a name for himself. He built an empire from a shoeshine box. And then, and only then, did he send for your father.
Dodd: Ma, I know the story.
Floyd: No, you don't. Because if you did, you'd know that you are just a small part of it. That's what an empire is: it's bigger than any son. Or daughter.
Your time will come. It will. But this isn't it. And if you stand by me now, I promise you that as soon as this crisis is over, I'll hand you your legacy and I'll turn my thoughts to the grave.
Floyd
Joe Bulo: No, I think we cut a deal with one of the sons.
Mike Milligan: The youngest maybe, Rye? The elders are.. well y'know a lobster's got a pincher claw and a crusher claw.
Joe Bulo: Which one's which?
Mike Milligan: Pardon?
Joe Bulo: Which son is which claw? You know what, forget it. I don't want anything to do with your fakakta metaphor.
Hank: One day the oyster got in a net. Fisherman pulled him up, all set to eat him. Except he happened to have his daughter in the boat. And she said--
Betsy: "Daddy. How would you feel if I peeled the roof off your house and ate you?"
Molly: Was that you?
Betsy: It was.
Hank: That's the story of how your mom and I came to eat hot dogs for dinner, once again.
Lorne: Just one word: Yes or No?
