Futurama Season 1 Episode 8: "A Big Piece of Garbage" Quotes
And, Fry, we owe you a tremendous debt as well. If not for your 20th century garbage-making skills, we'd all be buried under 20th century garbage.
Poopenmeyer
And so, on behalf of the entire city, I thank you, Professor Farnsworth. I now present you with the Academy prize, which we confiscated from Dr. Wernstrom after it became apparent that he was a jackass.
Poopenmeyer
Poopenmeyer: Alright, places everyone. Prepare for launch.
Farnsworth: Five, four, three, two, three, four, five, six...
Leela: Just fire the damn thing.
Farnsworth: If my calculations are correct, this garbage ball will knock the other garbage ball directly into the sun.
Wernstrom: And if my calculations are correct, we're all going to die horribly.
People of New New York, take a lesson from the 20th century. Stop all this pain-in-the-ass recycling and throw your garbage on the floor... Go ahead. Just chuck it any old place like I used to. Your city is counting on you.
Fry
Stand back and watch the master! This Slurm can. (He knocks it on the floor.) Now it's garbage. These papers. (He sweeps them off the desk with his hands.) Garbage. This picture of your wife. (He drops it on the floor and the frame smashes.) Pure garbage!
Fry
Poopenmeyer: This city's been garbage-free for 500 years!
Fry: Then it's time to make some more.
Poopenmeyer: Make garbage? But how?
Farnsworth: Wait! If we could build an object the exact size, density and consistency of the garbage ball, it might just knock the ball away without smashing it to bits.
Leela: But where can we find a substance the exact density and consistency as garbage?
Farnsworth: Alas, I don't know.
Fry: Uh, what about garbage?
It's time to take action... Stephanie, cancel the maid for today. Have her come tomorrow... Well, I'm out of ideas. Anyone?
Poopenmeyer
Poopenmeyer: Dr. Wernstrom, can you save my city?
Wernstrom: Of course. But it'll cost you. First I'll need tenure.
Poopenmeyer: Done.
Wernstrom: And a big research grant.
Poopenmeyer: You got it.
Wernstrom: Also, access to a lab and five graduate students, at least three of them Chinese.
Poopenmeyer: Um, alright done. What's your plan?
Wernstrom: What plan? I'm set for life! Au revoir, suckers!
Leela: That rat! Do something!
Poopenmeyer: I wish I could but he's got tenure!
Farnsworth: Wernstrom!
Wernstrom: The very same.
Leela: Should we really be celebrating? I mean, what if the second garbage ball returns to Earth like the first one did?
Fry: Who cares? That won't be for hundreds of years.
Farnsworth: Exactly! It's none of our concern.
Fry: That's the 20th century spirit!
