Futurama Quotes
Fry: Wow! You guys sell every kind of meat here except human!
Neptunian Salesman: What? You want human?
Leela: What's this spice for?
Neptunian Salesman: That's powdered swamp root. Makes you irresistible to the opposite sex.
Leela: Oh, that's ridiculous! (whispering) I'll take two pounds!
Zoidberg: Let's face it! We're in hot butter here!
Bender: Cram it lobster!
Merg: Ah, there you are, Your Majesty. It's time to begin preparing for tomorrow's coronation ceremony.
Zoidberg: A fancy dress gala! I'll wear my formal shell.
Merg: Fry will be enthroned tomorrow at the setting of the three suns when we Trisolians enter our nocturnal phase.
Fry: There won't be a lot of long-winded speeches, will there?
Merg: Only one. The absolutely flawless recitation from memory of the royal oath. By you.
Fry: Will there be cake?
And now, get ready to laugh 'till your sides leak with our planet's foremost political satirist, Florp!
Gorgak
Leela: You see Emperor Plon here? He met his end when he was drunk by Emperor Strug. And before he could even wipe his mouth, Strug was drunk by Shwab.
Fry: So?
Leela: Look at all these guys. Do you have any idea what the average length of their reigns was?
Fry: 80,000 years?
Leela: No. One week.
Fry: Damn! I knew you wouldn't have asked unless it was really high or really low.
Leela: You're in tremendous danger, you idiot! Half of these Emperors were drunk at their own coronation.
Fry: Hey, I plan on having a few brewskis myself.
Leela: No, they were assassinated. In fact, the law says you'll be killed on the spot if you fail to recite the oath from memory.
Fry: Yeah, I was going to thumb through that later.
Leela: That is completely reckless. Don't you ever think ahead?
Fry: Hell, no.
Leela: I give up! You're gonna get yourself killed and this time I won't be here to save you.
Fry: Who asked you to? I told you a hundred times to stop treating me like a baby. Now go. Go gather your nuts, you nagging grasshopper.
Right! I, Fry, who drank Bont the Viscous, who drank Ungo the Moist, who guzzled Zorn the Stagnant... (Time Lapse)... who slurped Hudge the Dewy, who enjoyed a soup composed principally of Throm the Chunky, do solemnly swear to rule with honour and insanity- Uh, integrity!
Fry
Hey, look. The suns are setting. I can finally switch to hard liquor!
Bender
Zoidberg: Relax, Fry. I'll simply spin you in a high-speed centrifuge, separating out the denser fluid of His Highness.
Fry: But won't that crush my bones?
Zoidberg: Oh, right, right, with the bones! I always forget about the bones.
