Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce
Thursdays 10:00 PM on BravoGirlfriends' Guide to Divorce Quotes
But, whatever. The magic's in the rewrite. At least that's what I tell my writers when I crush their dreams.
Barbara
You are incorrigible. You know, the world is full of women, all types, but there is only one infuriatingly sexy, magnificent Josephine.
Scott
Abby: But he got a hit. He got a double hit. Why is he being punished?
Baseball Mom: There is no crying in baseball. Welcome to the team.
He caught the ball in his ball glove...in his mitt...in his glove.
Abby
Mitchell: Where is the fun, the energy?! You've got a whole section here on the duality of the inner goddess.
Barbara: I thought it was interesting context.
Mitchell: SheShe doesn't do context. This read like a college thesis paper.
Barbara: OK. I'll take another pass. But just to be clear, you wanted my distinct voice. THIS is my voice.
Mitchell: Yeah, your voice is kind of a drag.
Abby: No, it's not adjustments, really, it's more global thoughts.
Barbara: Global.
Abby: Big picture stuff. You know, it's great, but it's not from your perspective.
Barbara: Well, you know, it is, in that I wrote it.
Abby: Well, it is, but I kind of lose it in there. You know. Where are you?
Barbara: Well, I'm there at the Goddess Ceremony, which is what the column is about...
Abby: Yes. I just...I want to know what you feel about things, what is your POV, what is your personal experience, you know what I'm saying?
Barbara: Yes.
Abby: Great!
Barbara: You think I should rewrite it.
Abby: Noooo! Not at all. Just like, take another pass.
Mommies trump coaches! That is the hierarchy!!
Abby
Delia: Enough with the games, Albert. I'm a partner here. I'm a senior divorce attorney for THIS firm.
Albert: And Vanessa is a top notch lawyer, brought in to replace you, actually, back when we thought you were moving to New York. She's caught up on firm business. That's what this is about.
Delia: Oh please, Albert. I think we know what this is really about.
Albert: Do you want to share more specifically what you mean here?
Delia [looks around the room]: No.
Abby: Here, smell this. Tell me what it is.
Lilly: Do I have to?
Abby: I pushed you out of my uterus; smell it.
Abby, anything good that's happening to me is happening because you supported both of us while I figured my shit out.
Jake
Scott: My goodness. Is this you making an effort, Josephine?
Jo: Well, I didn't come here to bang you and take off. That would be tacky. I came here to talk to you and then bang you and then take off.
Scott: I can accept that.
Abby: I am just not an "everything happens for a reason" kind of gal. It's just all that kind of talk is kind of insane. Ha ha. No offense.
Phoebe. No. None takes. [laughs]
Abby: By that logic, genocide happens for what? Or when a kid dies of cancer? What is the lesson there? That watching a kid suffering of cancer is awful?
Jo: Wow. Bad day, Abs?
Abby: Aaaghh. It's just what we want to believe when the truth is we are all just blobs of sentient plasma sharing time on a big, cold space rock. We are born, we age, we outlive our usefulness, and then we die. And there is no little patch of estrogen that is going to save us from the ultimate futility of our existence.
Barbara: Might want to bust out the wine, Phoebs.
