Happy Endings Quotes
I didn't vote for Obama because I didn't respect his March Madness bracket!
Max
Are you back on the sweet and creamy?
Brad [to Max]
What's gonna be open on Christmas? A gas station, drug store, Israel?
Penny
Happy birthday Jane...and Jesus.
Jane
Max: You didn't like Ringling brother for brothers?
Brad: It would've been the greatest show on earf!
Jane: A summer birthday really matches my easy breezy vibe.
Dave: Easy breezy vibe? I thought you had more of a dead of winter, girl with the dragon tattoo, Sarsgaard Murderhouse vibe.
I still can't believe you lied to me about your birthday. I thought you were older than me. I thought I was married to a MILF. Now all those fantasies about her about being my dad's new wife, giving me a bath and swaddling me, don't make sense.
Brad [to Jane]
Jane and Alex's parents are going to sex camp.
Brad
Max: Hello this is not a foursome, you guys are totally fifth wheeling me!
Dave: C'mon man we're not fifth wheeling you, Joey Fatone.
Brad: Yeah you're still part of the group Sporty Spice.
Jane: You're our favorite character Roz from Frasier.
I'm always write about cornplay, I was wrong about Coldplay though, they're still huge.
Brad
Jane: Penny's happy so as her friend you should-
Max: - Probably be trying to break her and Pete up? Yeah I just don't know if that seems like me.
Alex: Always start with your high end meats, skip veggies they'll only fill you up with nonsense.
Mrs. Kerkovich: And?
Alex: Be sure to make sexual eye contact with the carver, your stomach will thank you.
