Although I do not see the fun, nor do I agree with watching my dinner brawl it out in a steel cage match, that is not what we're doing here.

Danno

Guy's a cockroach. That's what they do. They come back from the dead. Next time you step on him don't take your foot off.

Chin

His idea of communication is dropping a witty one-liner and shooting you in the face.

Danno

Danno: May 18th, 1996!
McGarrett: What is that?
Danno: The last time I puked. Don't make me break my streak.
McGarrett: You will not be sick in this car. You will not be sick in this car!

McGarrett: Take that tie off. No one on a cruise ship wears a tie.
Danno: Oh yes, they do. They do all the time, so they can hang themselves when they're bored.
McGarrett: Okay, put it in your pocket. You can kill yourself later.

Newlywed killer. Someone should just tell this guy that after time couples will kill each other.

Danno

Kono: So, you deal with dead bodies all day, and your hobby is dead bodies?
Max: I also make pickles. It's a good way to reuse specimen jars.

Danno: It's okay? I know that you are trained to endure torture, but this is unbearable, okay? This is- This is not right. Songs this bad make people want to kill other people. Understand?
McGarrett: I think it's catchy.

Kurt Miller: I'm not saying anything else without my council here. So, book me if you have to.
Danno [looking at McGarrett]: Do not say it.

Danno: Oh! Whoa! Whoa! What the hell are you doing?
McGarrett: Probable cause. We were just doing a thing. I thought...
Danno: I meant we could get a key from the manager, you Neanderthal animal.

Kono: Love is blind.
Danno: Not that blind.

McGarrett: Can you tell me how many people live next door?
Rachel: Just a couple.
Danno: So two?
Rachel: Last time I checked that's what a couple was.

Hawaii Five-0 Quotes

Why don't they call it what it is? It's spring break for cops.

Grover [to McGarrett]

Kono: Ooo...That guy's pretty hot.
McGarrett: The dark one, right?
Kono: Nah, the blonde.
Danno & McGarrett: That's me.