Danny: You guys are going to go over speed limits, right?
DMW tester: It's a comprehensive road test, covering all the driving laws of the State of Hawaii.
Danny: Comprehensive meaning like driving on sidewalks, hopping curbs, going under semi trucks, stuff like that?

Fortunately, I'm used to being judged from the passenger seat of this vehicle, so that's fine.

McGarrett [to DMV tester]

Chin: They think he's innocent.
Grover: So? I hang a man-cave sign in my garage. That don't stop my wife from barging in whenever she wants something.

Jerry: Think you could run a few background checks on potential roomies?
Grover: You want me to use Five-0 resources for your personal matter, Jerry?
Jerry: I don't think McGarrett would mind.;
Grover: You know that?
Jerry: I don't. But if I can't find a roommate, I may have to go back to sleeping on the sofa in his office, and I can't imagine he'd like that.
Grover: Good point. I'm on it.

Danny: His mouth has not moved in 3 1/2 minutes.
Chin: Maybe she's got him on hold.
Danny: No. No. His nostrils are flaring, he's pacing like a maniac and he just switched his phone from his right hand to his left hand like he wants to punch someone.

Jerry: Do either of you know who I turn expenses in to? The safe and the magnet weren't cheap. Cost me about 750 all in.
Kono: You spent $750 on a visual aid?
Jerry: Well, at least the sock was mine.

Danny [to McGarrett]: There are two things on this Earth that I'm thankful for: That you cannot read my mind and this seat belt right here.

What I will miss the most is my adopted family, and by that, I mean you. All of you will be ohana forever. I love you.

Max

Max: (Sharing my feelings) is something I'm not comfortable with.
Jerry: I get that it isn't easy for you, but you've got to get past that. You're not going to be working with stiffs anymore. You're going to be interacting with living, breathing people on a daily basis. You've got to learn to open up and share your feelings. Trust me. It's a good thing.

Why don't they call it what it is? It's spring break for cops.

Grover [to McGarrett]

Jerry: What do you write about?
Max: Everything. Anything. My thoughts. My insights into the human condition.
Jerry: Wow. Really? Do you mind if I ...
Max: If it will keep you quiet, please.

I'm glad you find my intimate recollections so engrossing. I was under the impression you came here to help pack.

Max [to Jerry]

Hawaii Five-0 Quotes

Did I say I was jumping on any local customs Don Ho? No I did not.

Danny

Steve: Go get um Professor Plum.
Danny: It's Jeffries