Ted: Who canceled, your coven?
Steve: Coven, group of witches, boom!

Robin! Robin! I will pay you to be the Blitz. A hundred dollars, no! Ten thousand dollars, no! Sixty bucks. What's a lot of money to someone like you?

Barney

Lily: It's a booma-wang.
Robin: Nice,
Lily: Thanks.
Robin: No I meant the wang.

Look, I hate most babies, but your baby; I'm going to love that kid so much. I'm going to pick it up and everything.

Robin

He has got to go, you need to be like you are the weakest link goodbye! Punchy, the tribe has spoken. Please pack up your knives and go. Your work of art, didn't work for me. You're times up. I have to ask you to leave the mansion. You must leave the chateau. Your tour ends here. You've been chopped! You've been evicted from the Big Brother house. Your desert just didn't measure up. Sashay away! Give me your jacket and leave Hell's kitchen! You did not get a rose. You have been eliminated from the race. You are no longer in the running to be America's Next Top Model. You're fired. Auf Wiedersehen.

Barney

Robin Sparkles: Hey Jessica, how's your beaver.
Jessica Glitter: Great! How's your beaver?
Robin Sparkles: Busy as ever!

Ted: A-ha! When a second uterus plumped becomes...
Marshall: Dude.. feel the room.

Space? Teens? Is this a porno?!?!

Barney

It's Robin Sparkles 3 ya'll!

Barney

Barney: SCIENCE! There is an 83% correlation between the times men wear boutonnieres and the times they get laid. Think about it, proms, weddings, grandmas funerals...Thanks for the redhead Nana. The everyday boutonniere, by Stinson.
Robin: Aaaand nope!

Marshall: Oh you're wearing a flower.
Barney: Thank You!
Marshall: I didn't compliment, just observed.

You look gross when you cry. You know that?

Ted

How I Met Your Mother Season 6 Quotes

Ted (sipping a beer): This is what church has been missing. Dude, you fixed Church!
Marshall: You're welcome, God.

Marshall: Beer be with you...
Ted: And also with you.