I'm gonna walk like this now... you don't mess with me... would you fight me?


Right now I'm working with the meatballs, and I'm expecting them to slack off, but they're really pulling together and working hard, I don't know how long it's gonna last.

Pauly D

This is my family and I don't want anyone coming in the house and f$#king anything up because I will kill you, I don't care if I'm small, I will kick you.


We made a cake for Pauly and not Mike... that's what you get for being a f--king douchebag.


Me and you, we have to interview the strippers.


I wear my heart on my sleeve and it hurts me to think that people don't care.


[on Mike] That's what you get for being a f--king douchebag.


Dropping like flies.


Uh, my a** is, like, protruding... Protruding. The word of the day. Use it.


Of course, the girls made Pauly a cake. I must be the devil in this house... Pauly's the good guy, and it seems I'm the bad guy a lot of the times.


The lobster is the size of Schnooki.


I know I'm not the smartest crayon... [but] we can make a party.


Jersey Shore Quotes

[to Angelina] You wanna stay, you can get your ass beat. Stay, get your ass beat. Stay, get your ass beat! Stay, get your ass beat! Sleep with one f*%kin' eye open!


The Situation: Don't come over somebody's house at f*ckin' 5am & expect to play checkers.
Non-DTF Girl: I never said anything about checkers, OLD MAN!