Jersey Shore Season 1 Quotes
Guys with the blow-outs and the fake tans, and guys that wear lip gloss and makeup, those aren't guidos, those are retards.
Vinny
Yo, I will cut your hair while you're sleeping!
Angelina
If a girl's a slut, she should be abused.
Angelina
I feel like this job is beneath me, I'm a bartender. I do, like, great things.
Angelina
How do you go in a f*%king jacuzzi with a thong and a bra? Wear a thong bikini ... that's a little bit more classier if you're gonna wear anything at all, ya know what I mean?
Angelina
I am the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island baby.
Angelina
I was thinkin' heavy fire and I didn't wear my bulletproof vest and I just don't know if I'm gonna make it.
Mike
You better be hittin' the gym and if you're not hittin' the gym for like an hour or so, you know, you may have a problem. Okay, cause I'm at the gym for like an hour-and-a-half... ya know? Workin' on my fitness.
Mike
I got girls back here almost every night, there's not a time that I don't have girls coming back. Girls love The Situation.
Mike
Angelina was like a half-ass firecracker. It just fizzled out real quick and made a loud noise.
Mike
I wait till the last minute to shave, I wait till the last minute to put the shirt on 'cause you feel fresh. These are rules to live by, shave last minute, haircut the day-of, maybe some tanning and the gym. You gotta do the guido handbook.
Mike
With me and Sam, it's not a matter of if she wants to hook up with me; it's a matter of just when I decide.
Mike
