Can I take your veil?

Villanelle: You don't seem that surprised to see me.
Eve: I'm not surprised.
Villanelle: That's a little arrogant, don't you think?
Eve: And yet here you are.
Villanelle: Eve, you've been so distracted lately I thought you'd forgotten about me.

Villanelle: Of course it isn't poison. Do you think I am crazy? [pause] I'm expensive.
Eve: I know.
Villanelle: Will you give me everything I want?
Eve: Yes.

Villanelle: You know I'm here to kill you.
Eve: Yes, it was my idea.
Villanelle: No.
Eve: I told you. I need your help. I needed to see you.
Villanelle: So you hired me to kill you?
Eve: Yes.
Villanelle: That is so stupid. What if I hit you with a car? What if I shot you?
Eve: You wouldn't!
Villanelle: I wouldn't? Eve.

It's been so nice to finally meet you. Smell ya later.


I'm sorry about the complaints. Don't look so angry. I was just trying to get Eve's attention, but she does not care about your life at all, does she? Look at you, huh? You look like someone stuck a mustache in some fudge.


Hugo: This is taking ages.
Kenny: It's a computer; it's not magic.

Hugo: I once got a handjob in here. Under this very table.
Eve: That's very romantic.
Hugo: It kind of was actually.
Eve: Do you EVER not talk about sex?
Hugo: Why would I? What else is there?

Eve: Mmmm. This is AMAZING. What do they put in it?!
Hugo: Hmmm. I don't know. Crack. Orphans.
Eve: I don't care if that's true. Seriously. If it tastes this good, grind up an orphan and fry it in crack.

Eve: Wow. That was smart. And thoughtful. She wanted it to be painless. What kind of assassin does that?
Hugo: Uh, a nice one?
Eve: She can make it painless because she knows about drugs. She knows how to tailor each death to make it look accidental.

Hugo: Can I ask you something? What's the deal with you and Villanelle?
Eve: I don't know.
Hugo: She fancies you, doesn't she?
Eve: Everything isn't all about sex, Hugo.
Hugo: Isn't it? What is it? Do you like watching her or do you like being watched?
Eve: Both.

I mean, it's one thing getting murdered, but the indignity of being found while in the middle of bleaching your mustache...


Killing Eve Quotes

Most of the time, most days, I feel nothing. I don't feel anything. It is so boring. I wake up and I think, again, really? I have to do this again? And what I really don't understand is how come everyone else isn't screaming with, with boredom, too, and I try to find ways to make myself feel something. More, and more, and more, but it doesn't make any difference. No matter what I do, I don't feel anything. I hurt myself; it doesn't hurt. I buy what I want; I don't want it. I do what I like; I don't like it. I'm just so bored.


Frank: You're fired.
Eve: You're a dick swab.
Bill: Oh hey!
Frank: Thank you, Bill.
Bill: No! I was gonna call you a dick swab!