Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCFavorite Modern Family Quotes
Phil: Kids, get down here!
Haley: Why are you guys yelling at us? We were way upstairs, just text me.
Claire: Alright, that's not going to happen and...wow, you're not wearing that outfit.
Haley: What's wrong with it?
Claire [to Phil]: Honey, do you have anything to say to your daughter about her skirt?
Phil: Sorry. Oh yeah, it looks really cute sweetheart.
Haley: Thanks.
Claire [to Haley]: No, it's way too short. People know you're a girl; you don't need to prove it to them
Happy Valenbirthuhhhversary!
Phil
I remember the speech that won me treasurer of my high school spanish club. "Mi nombre es filipe."
Phil
Manny [about his father]: He's not afraid of anything, he doesn't wear a seat belt when he drives. He killed a bear once
Jay: Oh yeah? Was the bear in the passenger seat?
Jay: You want scary? When I was his age I lived through the Cuban Missile Crisis. I slept with a butter knife under my pillow in case I had to fight some Soviet colonel.
Gloria: Why?
Jay: Because I could identify all the Commi planes.
Gloria: What are we talking about?!?
I was a lot like you in high school except my hair was shorter and my guitar was a flute.
Vitamin P
We were called "Fire and Nice." I was "Fire" because of the red hair and Claire was "Nice" because it was ironic and she wasn't.
Mitchell
You never want your kids to see you scared. You want to be that rock that they grab a hold of in a stormy sea. Actually, a rock would sink. So a floating rock.
Phil
Manny: She has a boyfriend.
Gloria: Ohh I'm sorry mi niño
Manny: I gave her my heart and she gave me a picture of me as an all time Sheriff. That was pretty stupid of me, wasn't it?
Gloria: No mi amor, It was brave right Jay, brave.
Jay: Well well, you'll know better next time, come on let's get a pretzel
That gay cruise ship has sailed.
Cam [on Lily having a normal childhood]
You look hot enough to cook a pizza on... in.
Phil
I can't pressure Mitchell. But I really, really, really just want him to get a job so I can go back to being a stay-at-home dad/trophy wife.
Cameron
