Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCFavorite Modern Family Quotes
Here's the deal. Girls don't go for all that romantic stuff. They go for power and success. And since you don't have either one of those things, you're gonna be the funny guy.
Jay [to Manny]
Two thirds of my house can't do what a billion Chinese do.
Jay [on Gloria and Manny's lack of bike-riding skills]
Jay: You want scary? When I was his age I lived through the Cuban Missile Crisis. I slept with a butter knife under my pillow in case I had to fight some Soviet colonel.
Gloria: Why?
Jay: Because I could identify all the Commi planes.
Gloria: What are we talking about?!?
Cam: She's already prone to flashbacks, if you know what I mean.
Mitchell: You know she didn't fight in Vietnam, right?
Phil: Just to be clear, I'm not condoning eating your kids, but I sure as heck know why giraffes do it.
Claire: What?!?
I was a lot like you in high school except my hair was shorter and my guitar was a flute.
Vitamin P
Phil: She has to run everyday or she goes crazy, she's like a Border Collie.
Claire: Did you just compare me to a dog?!?
Phil: The smartest in the world!
I just ordered an extra-long straw to avoid accidentally doing a sit-up
Jay
While Claire watched one of the most highly-acclaimed films of the year, I sat through a badly made schlock-fest, with absolutely no redeeming value - and it was awesome!
Phil
Happy Valenbirthuhhhversary!
Phil
Ugh, kids, you don't have to tell me, my school is full of them
Manny [to Claire]
You know why else he's gonna be ok? Because somewhere out there is a little girl who's making lists and labeling bins...and he's gonna find her.
Phil
