I'm just a boy trying to bring style back to travel.

Manny

You're all the porn I need.

Phil

You know, when you get a massage, you sound like a Tijuana prostitute.

Jay

Kenny: Hey I don't think we've met I'm Kenny.
Alex: And I'm disgusted.

She's being facetious...sarcastic...Dylan no stay!

Alex [to Haley]

If this so-called Santa Claus doesn't bring me a burgundy dinner jacket, I'm going to have a big problem.

Manny

Take it down a notch. We're just trying to make a friend not initiate a three-way.

Mitchell

Cameron: I remember once at a New Year's Eve party, stroke of midnight, he high-fived me. Two problems with that: One, gays don't high five. Two, gays don't high five.

I got scared because the cabinet didn't fall down.

Luke

Okay just because my uncle is clearly gay, doesn't mean he'd ever want your tacky pink tree. And frankly, we'd rather throw some lights on our coat rack than have to deal with knuckledraggers like you, today of all days...December 16th.

Alex

I brought you some soda, but I couldn't find any straws, so you'll have to drink it like cats.

Luke

If an accident does happen, I hope he kills me, because I don't think I would be a very inspiring disabled person.

Cameron

Modern Family Quotes

Gloria [punches guy]: Nobody calls him grandpa!
Luke: I do.

Gloria: I'm taking a shower, would you like to join me?
Jay: Honey, you know there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage, if I ever say no, I want you to use it on me