Luke [about reptile on his head]: This feels so weird, what does it eat?
Jungle Tanya: Oh just little boy brains
Alex: Well, at least Luke has nothing to worry about

• Permalink: This feels so weird, what does it eat? Oh just little boy brai...
• Added: November 26, 2009

You know people are going to stare, they're not used to seeing one clown in a car.

Cameron

• Permalink: You know people are going to stare, they're not used to seeing o...
• Added: November 26, 2009

Let me know if you run low on supplies, I'll take a quick trip to the 1950s for you.

Phil [to Claire]

• Permalink: Let me know if you run low on supplies, I'll take a quick trip t...
• Added: November 26, 2009

Cameron: If I wasn't in school or fishing, I was clowning. There are four types of clowns: a tramp, Auguste, a whiteface, and a character. I am a classically trained Auguste clown named Fizbo.
Mitchell: Between the clowning and the fishing, I'm surprised you had time for the schooling. Aww, there's the fifth type, the sad clown.
Cameron: A sad clown is a tramp.. so there's still only four types.

• Permalink: A tramp, Auguste, a whiteface, and a character. I am a classica...
• Added: November 26, 2009

Phil: I need the scariest reptile you got.
Jungle Tanya: I have an iguana that eats crickets.
Phile: That would be scary if it was a bday for crickets. Seriously Jungle Tanya, I need you to step it up a notch. Is there anything that scares the coocoo out of you?
Jungle Tanya: Not really. I do have a bearded dragon...
Phil: Ooh!
Jungle Tanya: No, it doesn't breath fire.

• Permalink: I need the scariest reptile you got. I have an iguana that eat...
• Added: November 26, 2009

I'm the ass kicking clown that will twist you like a balloon animal!

Cameron

• Permalink: I'm the ass kicking clown that will twist you like a balloon ani...
• Added: November 26, 2009

We can't get Luke a crossbow, he pokes himself in the eye every time he uses a straw.

Gloria

• Permalink: We can't get Luke a crossbow, he pokes himself in the eye every ...
• Added: November 26, 2009

Phil: Luke's not much of a clown fan.
Cameron: Has he ever seen a good one?
Phil: Has anyone?

• Permalink: Luke's not much of a clown fan. Has he ever seen a good one? ...
• Added: November 26, 2009

I got Luke a video game, but it's about math. So, I guess we're those kind of uncles.

Mitchell

• Permalink: I got Luke a video game, but it's about math. So, I guess we're ...
• Added: November 26, 2009

Here's the deal. Girls don't go for all that romantic stuff. They go for power and success. And since you don't have either one of those things, you're gonna be the funny guy.

Jay [to Manny]

• Permalink: Here's the deal. Girls don't go for all that romantic stuff. The...
• Added: November 26, 2009

Sorry I fell asleep while you were describing the most boring party ever.

Phil

• Permalink: Sorry I fell asleep while you were describing the most boring pa...
• Added: November 26, 2009

Phil [about Luke]: He's one of those kids you get him a gift and all he wants to do is play with the box.
Claire: One year we just got him a box, a really nice box
Phil: And we made the mistake of putting it in a gift bag.
Claire: So he played with the gift bag.
Phil: We can't get it right.

• Permalink: He's one of those kids you get him a gift and all he wants to do...
• Added: November 26, 2009