Delilah is okay with sleeping… and doing other things… over your father’s ashes?

Quinn

McGee [about his apartment's former tenant]: Did you know that when they found him, he was completely soaked in blood from head to toe? Cops could barely tell that he was human. They said that he looked more like Satan.
Quinn: ...Well, if you ever *do* tell Delilah, you should probably leave that out.

Oooh, he’s running! I was hoping he’d do that!

Torres

There’s gotta be an expiration on the creepy factor! Besides, it’s not like it’s haunted!

McGee

Wow, duplicitous backstabbers on Capitol Hill? Who’da thunk it?

Vance

The world isn’t all zeros and ones. You can’t reduce love to a binary code.

Qasim

Bishop: I’m not afraid of Gibbs.
Reeves: Well, actually, *I’m* afraid of him.

Reeves: I found Chen’s courier.
Bishop: So... you... jumped in your Winnebago to come tell me?
Reeves: No! I jumped in *his*.

Just makin’ sure you were paying attention…

Gibbs [on pickpocketing Torres]

See, you have *fought* terror. Who better to create it?

Earl Goddard

Abby: Is this an order?
Vance: Yes! Go be a bad guy!

What the hell! Your *fake* bomb just made a *real* explosion!

Cop

NCIS Quotes

Ducky: Forgive me, Mr. Palmer, but I can’t resist the urge to give you one of my all-time favorite pieces of advice: “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.