NCIS
Mondays 9:00 PM on CBSFavorite NCIS Quotes
Denny Johnson: Hello? I'd like to go home? I'm self-diagnosed with IBS and mild claustrophobia. I am not feeling very well.
Manheim: There is no way that guy's related to me.
Vance: Special Agent Barkley is sending additional manpower to Louisiana to assist. An interrogation expert, to be exact.
Pride: Don't need one. Agent Lasalle and I can question suspects just fine.
Vance: Recent flaws in your technique would suggest otherwise.
Pride: I only punched that XO once.
Vance: Once was enough.
Ziva: I'm feeling perfectly warm.
Tony: That's because you're like a little kimodo dragon. An ice queen.
Ziva: Or because I remembered to wear my thermal underwear.
Tony: I'll give you $50 for it right now.
Tony: If Vance is waiting for Robin Williams in drag to come floating on some magic umbrella, singing "Do Re Mi", he's going to be waiting a long time.
McGee: Wow Tony, three movie nannies in one reference. That's impressive.
Ziva: Bah hum-bog.
Tony: What?
Tony: I want to help.
Anton: One thing I've learned, Tony. Just because you want it doesn't mean it's going to happen.
Tony: Tell me about it. It's funny - never stops me from trying.
Palmer: I've always been fascinated by private detectives.
Ducky: Yes, I would venture that's because you were influenced by the great literary British detectives. Sherlock Holmes, Jane Marple. They were all intelligent, cultured, articulate, refined. Not shady and unethical, like this hustler, this miscreant.
Abby: I like Ace Ventura.
Ducky: Who?
Ducky: If you have to change the diaper of a sleeping child, you need to be efficient. I would also think that you need to---
Gibbs: Keep the lights low, and the room quiet.
Jackson: Walter, this is my son, Leroy.
Gibbs: Sir.
Jackson: Walter, nothing can make up for the lives we took. We both know that. But what you did was more than you know. You made my boy possible, Walter. And he helps people, Walter. He's a good man. He's the best person I know.
Abby: Is that broken?
Tony: No Mrs. Mulwray, but I damned near lost my nose. I like breathing through it.
Abby: Mrs. Mulwray
Tony: Faye Dunaway and of course Mr. Jack.
Ziva: Yeah, I know. Chinatown.
McGee: I've already counted three security cameras inside. Should be able to get whoever was in here on playback.
Tony: If somebody was in here.
McGee: I sense skepticism, Tony.
Tony: Well, you sensed right, Dr. Phil.
I found my soul-mate. I'm getting married.
Tony Sr.
