Gibbs: You want to make her sick?
Comey: It's stupid, I know, but I figured if I helped her feel better again, she might appreciate me more.
Bishop: That's not stupid at all.
Comey: The thing is, I'm still working on the whole cure part. I didn't want to get her sick without that. I'm not a monster, after all.

Vance: You got regrets, that's on you. But it's not up to me and my kids to make them go away.
Addison: Ain't that the truth. I apologize, Leon. You have yourself a happy holiday.

Palmer: I'm so not having kids.
Abby: Okay Jimmy. That does it. Excuse us, director, but something has gotten into Mr. Palmer, and I would like to get it out now.
Vance: Well don't let me interfere.

Life isn't always perfect, you know? But sometimes things would work out for the best if you just had faith.

Abby

His chest is bigger than Diane's.

Fornell

Well tie me up and call me Loretta.

Fornell

Tony: Wow. Wowsers.
Diane: This is not what it looks like.
Fornell: Right. We were just...
Gibbs: No. I do not need the details.
Tony: I wouldn't mind a few details.

McGee: You know it's hard to imagine the same woman liking Fornell and this Eddie guy. Although, maybe Diane liked him because he's not Fornell.
Fornell: Best leave the psychoanalysis to Duckie. If you value breathing.

Fornell: Wait a sec. How exactly do you know about your mother and me?
Emily: I know everything. I put a keystroke logger on both of your Facebook accounts.

Bank manager: Would you like something to drink?
Gibbs: No. I'm good.
Diane: I'll take a water. One straw, two pieces of ice, three slices of lemon.

Bishop: I took the liberty of reading the Handbook of Autopsy Practice this weekend.
Palmer: The whole thing? That's over 600 pages.
Bishop: It's 596 actually. It was really cool.

Bishop: I mean, I might have a better idea. Look, Eddie is coming back. If he was ditching his car, there are easier places to abandon it than at an airport. We should put it back and watch it. And when he comes to pick it up----
Gibbs: We grab him.
Bishop: Absolutely not. We follow him, see what he does, where he goes, then we grab him.
Gibbs: Works for me.

NCIS Quotes

I'm more of a Super-Mario guy, myself.

Captain Wescott

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.