I'm pretty sure I'm having a heart attack, and I haven't arranged for anyone to clear my browser history. I wasn't building a bomb, I was just curious.

Nick

• Permalink: I'm pretty sure I'm having a heart attack, and I haven't arranged for anyone to clear my...
• Added: January 21, 2014

Jess: Have you guys been baking?
Coach: Aww, nah--a bakery downtown exploded, don't bother looking into it, it's not on the internet.

• Permalink: Aww, nah--a bakery downtown exploded, don't bother looking into it, it's not on the internet.
• Added: January 21, 2014

A lot of people never graduated high school! Einstein! Bill Gates! Anne Frank! I'm gonna take back that last one.

Schmidt

• Permalink: A lot of people never graduated high school! Einstein! Bill Gates! Anne Frank! I'm gonna take...
• Added: January 21, 2014

Nick: Do you know any time-consuming, free activities in Griffith Park?
Schmidt: Gross! Suicide?

• Permalink: Gross! Suicide?
• Added: January 21, 2014

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach

• Permalink: I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate...
• Added: January 21, 2014

You set fire to soda water. Who does that? How do you even possibly do that? It's not a flammable thing! It's not even...are you a witch?

Mike

• Permalink: You set fire to soda water. Who does that? How do you even possibly do that? It's not a...
• Added: January 21, 2014

Psych! I'm the best at stuff! I don't forget stuff! First place!

Coach

• Permalink: Psych! I'm the best at stuff! I don't forget stuff! First place!
• Added: January 21, 2014