As I said to Paula Abdul during our production of Hedda Gabler, we've got to start thinking outside the box here.


It's money time, baby. Payday is here and check is in the mail.


You'll make the right choice. Because if you don't, well, I know where you live.


Theo: He's not good for you.
Zoe: Oh, I wasn't aware boys were supposed to be good for you.

People talk way too fucking much in this city.


The fuck is this? The Neverland Ranch of theater bullshit?


Oliver is so deep in my pocket it's tingling my balls.


Mabel: I'm a stranger that lied to you a bunch and you're two randos that dragged me into a podcast.
Oliver: Rando is a slang for a person of no significance.
Charles: I used context clues but thank you.

Oh, my God, the twists and turns of this are unbelievable. It's like a rainbow crafted by a drunken leprechaun.


You know, it's a law of nature. Nothing good ever happens on Long Island.


Women who knock rarely make history.


Oliver: Apparently people still watch live TV. Where was this audience when I directed Godspell Live on NBC?
Charles: That was you?
Oliver: No, but it should have been.