Popular Parks and Recreation Quotes
Leslie: Hey, can I smoke in here?
Ron: You don't smoke.
Leslie: Just askin' if I can.
Ron: Are you high?
Leslie: I'm high on kaboom.
Andy [about Mark]: I don't get it. What does he have that I don't have?
Ann: Are you serious?
Andy: Yeah.
Ann: Everything. He has literally everything you don't have. A job, a car, a steady income, an address, a second pair of shoes, table manners, the ability to say tampon without giggling.
Sometimes when you make an omelet you've gotta break a few eggs. What's the alternative? No omelets at all? Who wants to live in that kind of world? Maybe birds. Then all their babies would live.
Leslie
If you want to meet, just put a white chalk X on the mailbox across the street from city hall. Or call me back. Just call me back.
Leslie [on Andy's voicemail]
Hey, Andy, it's your aunt. You mom or dad's sister. I don't know how to tell you this, but your uncle has passed. He's with Jesus now. So we're having a memorial in 30 minutes at City Hall.
Leslie [on Andy's voicemail]
Leslie, the man lived in a pit. OK, he couldn't find a place to live on the Earth's surface so he went under the ground. You're dealing with a grown man who thinks like a gopher.
Ann [about Mark]
How does taking risks make me feel? Amazing. Tingling sensation throughout my whole body. I feel flushed. My muscles are relaxed yet I feel awake. Just waves of pleasure. I wish there was something physical that could make me feel this way.
Leslie
Kaboom is a word I made up. It's not in any dictionary. I trick people into building playgrounds in empty lots in their neighborhoods. It's an elaborate prank. For my next prank, I'm going to build a hospital in a poor part of China. They'll never see it coming.
Keef
He's like an invisible, adolescent, James Bond super villain criminal mastermind. Or maybe someone else is doing it.
Leslie
Halloween is my favorite holiday. It's just the best. And I don't have to work! Hey slutty teenage girls dressed as sexy kittens... pump your own stomachs this year!
Ann
Ann: That looks like something you would find on the wall of a serial killer.
Leslie: In a way, that's a compliment. Shows dedication.
This could be my Hoover Dam.
Leslie
