Popular Parks and Recreation Quotes
Leslie: Commit this to memory. You see him, you stomp him. Knock his head off if you have to.
Dave: Don't do that.
Leslie: Don't do that. But I give you permission to use excessive force.
Dave: Don't use excessive force.
Leslie: Don't go overboard. Just stop him, by any means necessary.
Dave: No.
Leslie: No. Just stop him. (under breath) You know what I mean.
A week ago, I had nothing. Now I have a part-time job, I'm gonna make 32 bucks tonight. I owe Leslie everything I have. Which after tonight will be 39 bucks.
Andy
Leslie: Suspect still with friends in parking lot. He looks obnoxious and irritating, even from a great distance.
Dave: Uh, confirmed.
I passed up a gay Halloween party to be here. Do you know how much fun gay Halloween parties are? Last year I saw three Jonas brothers make out with three Robert Pattisons. It was amazing.
April
Leslie: Suspect laughing with friends, and playing with his stupid skateboard in a snide, turdish manner.
Dave: Turdish?
Leslie: Yes. Like a turd. Like a little turd.
Leslie [about a peach pit]: This is his ace of spades. This is his calling card. This is what he leaves all his victims. And it's still warm. OK, go arrest him and send this to the lab.
Dave: We don't have a lab.
Leslie: You talk to him first. You have a scary face.
Dave: Hey!
Leslie: No, in a good way. Scary cute.
Ann, do you have any Mounds? Because all I can find are Almond Joys. And almonds give me the squirts.
Ron
Ann, what happened here? Did you tell everyone they're going to have to get a bone marrow transplant tomorrow? They look miserable. This party is a disaster.
Tom
Greg's Fake Mom: Do you have any evidence?
Leslie: Yes. Two words. Peach pit. His DNA is all over it I assume.
Dave: We don't know that.
Leslie: We can get it tested....
Dave: We can't.
Leslie: And if it matches your DNA than you're going away for a long time.
You're the coolest person I've ever met. I even met John Cougar Melloncamp once.
Andy [to Leslie]
This could be my Hoover Dam.
Leslie
