You're in trouble because of your own stupidity.

Leslie

Right now my gut is telling me we're going to listen to Mariah Carey the whole way home.

Ann

Your butler made your bed and now you need to lie in it.

Leslie

Ingrid: We purchased HBO for the entire town.
Ben: You spent government money on a TV subscription?
Ingrid: It's not TV.

I'm April Ludgate Kvorkian.

April

Ron: We only subscribe to two magazines: Reader's Digest and Ebony. Ebony was a clerical error but it was an interesting year of reading.

When you tell an Eagletonian they need an oil change, they ask Extra Virgin or White Truffle.

Leslie

She thinks she's so great because she won the Miss Indiana Beauty Pageant. Last year. In office. While pregnant.

Leslie

Look, am I proud of it? Yes, because Eagleton sucks. Is it the classiest move? Yes, because Eagleton sucks. Would I do it again? Yes, because Eagleton sucks.

Leslie

Parks and Recreation Season 6 Episode 3 Quotes

She thinks she's so great because she won the Miss Indiana Beauty Pageant. Last year. In office. While pregnant.

Leslie

Look, am I proud of it? Yes, because Eagleton sucks. Is it the classiest move? Yes, because Eagleton sucks. Would I do it again? Yes, because Eagleton sucks.

Leslie