Parks and Recreation Quotes
Leslie: Just to be clear, that was a friend punch. There was no flirtatious meaning behind that punch I just gave your arm.
Mark: I do understand. You've made it abundantly clear that there is absolutely no romantic element to our relationship.
Ron: Leslie. Some guy who owns a gay bar sent you a cake.
Leslie: Pawnee has a gay bar?
Ron: The Bulge. It's behind my house.
Leslie: The Bulge is a gay bar? The nights I've wasted there ...
Leslie: I know you're not gay.
Tom: No, I'm not.
Leslie: But you're effeminate.
Tom: What?
Leslie: Well, you're wearing a peach shirt with a coiled snake on it.
Tom: That's because it was featured in Details magazine, and it's awesome.
Leslie: They thought that was a political gesture? No one eat that. Tom, step into my office.
Tom: It's also my office.
Leslie: Whatever.
People in this town don't really like their government officials being activists. Last year a garbageman was suspended for wearing a Livestrong bracelet.
Leslie
Chimpanzees are very smart, so we had them graduate from college. They like to throw their feces, so we were hoping they would throw their hats. But they just threw their feces.
Leslie
Leslie Knope: When I go through these doors, I need to be "on", like the White House Press Secretary. Are you ready?
Tom Haverford: Yes.
Leslie Knope: OK! Here we go! (pulls on the door, looks into the camera) It's locked.
I don't want to be overdramatic, but today felt like a hundred years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.
Leslie
Jim: I love Great lakes wine.
Tom: You can have the wine. I'm wanna take that cheese and do terrible things to it.
I enjoy government functions like I enjoy getting kicked in the nuggets with a steel toed boot. But this hotel always served bacon wrapped shrimp. That's my number one favorite food wrapped around my number three favorite food. I'd go to a banquet in honor of those Somali pirates if they served bacon wrapped shrimp.
Ron
In a town as old as Pawnee there's a lot of history in every acre. This wooded area is the site of the murder, actually, of Nathanial Bixby Mark. He was a pioneer who was killed by a tribe of Wamapoke Indians. He traded them a baby for the city that is now Indianapolis. They cut his face off and made it into a dreamcatcher. And they made his legs into rainsticks. That's the great thing about Indians, back then, is they used every part of the pioneer.
Leslie
Yes, I'm married. But my wife understands that a good politician has to be appealing to the ladies. The fact that I haven't even gotten close to cheating on her is a disappointment to both of us.
Tom
