Reginald: I'm a muthafuckin' vampire!
Maurice: No. No. I'm still not entirely on board with that catchphrase.

• Permalink: No. No. I'm still not entirely on board with that catchphrase.
• Added: October 12, 2022

Reginald: So, summing up, again: body issues for eternity, unable to control my most basic urges, and unfit for human interaction, including, of course, romance.

• Permalink: body issues for eternity, unable to control my most basic urges, and unfit for human...
• Added: October 12, 2022

Maurice: Nothing changes until you get your teeth into someone.
Reginald: What if I don't
Maurice: Well, it won't kill you, but some very inconvenient shit will start to happen.
Reginald: Define inconvenient shit.
Maurice: Drop your fangs, bite, and drink!

• Permalink: Drop your fangs, bite, and drink!
• Added: October 12, 2022

Claire: Are you a vampire?
Reginald: Regrettably, yes.
Claire: But you're fat.
Reginald: I don't know why that's relevant but everyone keeps harping on it so hey, thank you. I'm fully aware of my body issues.

• Permalink: But your fat
• Added: October 12, 2022