Reginald the Vampire
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on SyFyReginald the Vampire Quotes
Reginald: I told him what to do, and he did exactly what I said!
Maurice: Again, Impossible.
Reginald: So, summing up, again: body issues for eternity, unable to control my most basic urges, and unfit for human interaction, including, of course, romance.
Claire: Are you a vampire?
Reginald: Regrettably, yes.
Claire: But you're fat.
Reginald: I don't know why that's relevant but everyone keeps harping on it so hey, thank you. I'm fully aware of my body issues.
Maurice: Nothing changes until you get your teeth into someone.
Reginald: What if I don't
Maurice: Well, it won't kill you, but some very inconvenient shit will start to happen.
Reginald: Define inconvenient shit.
Maurice: Drop your fangs, bite, and drink!
Reginald: I'm a muthafuckin' vampire!
Maurice: No. No. I'm still not entirely on board with that catchphrase.
Maurice: I can fix this, Reggie, but I can't do it without your sayso. The decision has to be yours.
Reginald: Decide?
Maurice: That's right. Decide to die now, a few moments early.
Reginald: Why would I do that?
Maurice: So I can save you.
Moira: What's your name?
Reginald: Reginald. Andres.
Moira: Nice to meet you Reginald, I'm Moira.
Maurice: Moira! Stop that shit now.
Reginald: I had the weirdest dream last night.
Maurice: Oh you're not dreaming.
Reginald. Right... right I know what's happening here! I'm still dreaming.
Maurice: Are you a meat eater? I'm keeping a close eye on my cholesterol. I heard carnivores had a higher load in their blood.
Man: What the hell does my blood gotta do with anything?
Maurice: I'm just trying to watch what I eat.
