Kevin: Is that how your first time went?
Archie: Kevin, I’m still a virgin too.
Kevin: You are?!
Archie: Yeah.
Kevin: Well, doesn’t that beat all? If I’m a virgin and you’re a virgin, why do I have to go to Twyla and you don’t? Why do I have to prove something and you don’t? It’s funny how the world works.

• Permalink: Kevin, I’m still a virgin too.
• Added: May 10, 2023

Kevin: Archie, you’re normal.
Archie: Kevin, so are you!
Kevin: Yeah, I want to be. More than anything. I just want to be like everybody else.

• Permalink: Archie, you’re normal.
• Added: May 10, 2023

There’s suspending my allowance? And making me get an after-school job? Smithers, this is child abuse! Well, if they think they can break my spirit as if I were a philly, they’re in for a rude awakening.

Veronica

• Permalink: Smithers, this is child abuse!
• Added: May 10, 2023

And if I catch wind of you even saying “hello” to that redheaded pervert. Well … you don’t want to see me frosted, young lady.

Alice

• Permalink: Well … you don’t want to see me frosted, young lady.
• Added: May 10, 2023

Betty: I was just wondering … what’s sex like?
Veronica: My goodness. And I’ve barely just had my morning java.

• Permalink: I was just wondering … what’s sex like?
• Added: May 03, 2023

Veronica: Repeat after me: “I am gorgeous, powerful, sexy siren at the height of my many powers. And may God have mercy on the boys of Riverdale High.”

• Permalink: And may God have mercy on the boys of Riverdale High.
• Added: May 03, 2023

Mr. Fieldstone: So, what do you think? First issue, hot off the presses.
Jughead: This is so boss, Boss.

• Permalink: This is so boss, Boss.
• Added: May 03, 2023

As a matter of fact, I read all kinds of books. So how about you quit sticking your nose in my business before I serve you up a knuckle sandwich?

Toni

• Permalink: As a matter of fact, I read all kinds of books.
• Added: May 03, 2023

Betty: I would like a new look, please.
Hairdresser: Awww. What’s giving you the gringles, Dollface?
Betty: I just feel so unseen. All the girls at my school have beaus and it’s just like I’m a ghost. I need something else. Something new. Something amazing that will get all the boys’ attention.
Hairdresser: Well, I gotta tell you, this ponytail is doing you no favors.

• Permalink: Well, I gotta tell you, this ponytail is doing you no favors.
• Added: April 26, 2023

Betty: We were thinking: what if you had us both?
Veronica: At the exact same time. For a very, very special date.
Archie: Really?!
Betty & Veronica: Really.

• Permalink: We were thinking: what if you had us both?
• Added: April 26, 2023

Nana Blossom: She has this compulsive craving for intimate, physical, and some might even say, inappropriate touching.
Archie: Really?
Nana Blossom: Oh yes. She’s ravenous for it! She can’t keep her hands to herself.

• Permalink: She’s ravenous for it! She can’t keep her hands to herself.
• Added: April 26, 2023

Julian: You gotta get your head in the game.
Dilton: How do I do that?
Julian: Maybe a night stuffed in a locker will help you figure it out?

• Permalink: You gotta get your head in the game.
• Added: April 26, 2023