Roseanne
Tuesdays 8:00 PM on ABCRoseanne Quotes
Mark: They put me in for one play and I accidentally scored a goal for the other team.
Jackie: The winning goal!
Finally a man bringing me something I really want.
Dan: Did you make the appointment for your knee surgery yet?
Roseanne: You know how doctors are, Dan. They say they can see you in a month and then when you tell them you can't stand the pain any longer they say, "We'll see you in a month."
Mom's yelling fine in the bathroom and I'm not going in.
Darlene
Roseanne: This is our 45th anniversary and I get to talk.
Dan: She's finally coming out of her shell everybody.
Margarita on the house for the old married couple.
Becky
DJ: Do you guys get points on your credit card?
Roseanne: We get threats. Is that the same thing?
Pipe down everyone. Forrest Gump's talking.
Darlene
Dan: Does Madam approve?
Roseanne: Hell yeah Madam approves!
So because you have kids my problems aren't as important as yours?
Becky
I do have a problem. I found these pills hidden all over the house.
Dan
Sometimes you just gotta suck it up and put your family first.
Dan
