You stopped being funny fifteen days ago.


Happy: The point is, you're going to find out a lot of weird stuff about me.
Toby: Like your Southern European singing career?
Happy: You're never going to get the details on that. Bottom line - I would not change anything in my past because it's led me to where I am today.
Toby: Abandoned on an island with little chance of survival?
Happy: It led me to be your wife, jackass. And of all the things I've ever been or will ever be, that one is my favorite.

You suck at this it. I'm not saying you will forever. I'm saying don't try so so hard.


Walter: Don't be jealous because me and my soulmate get along better than you and your soulmate.
Toby: What? That's not true.
Happy: Today it is.

Ralph: I'm scared that mom and Walter's new relationship won't have a chance if we don't get back home as soon as possible.
Cabe: I don't know what you're talking about.
Ralph: Come on, I saw how they held hands as the plane went down, and how Walter volunteered to go with her into the jungle. Who needs help getting fruit?
Cabe: You consistently impress me, kid.
Ralph: I've wanted Walter to be my dad for years, and it's what I want for my mom, but this isn't a good situation for a couple starting out. We need to get home.

A flower for my flower.


We will all get off this island because I have so much to live for.


Paige: Sly, I never thought I'd say this, but slow down you're going too fast into a dangerous area.
Sly: Scotty doesn't have the luxury of us being cautious. Besides, the odds of us surviving on this island are so low, what's the point of caution?
Paige: Who is this guy that looks like Sylvester?
Walter: He's just having a severe reaction to living through something that has over a 99% fatality rate. He's probably already run over a thousand potential scenarios for getting off this island, and all have a chance between zero and nil.

Sly: I'll go see if there's any fruit on this island.
Paige: You do realize that fruit is somewhere in that scary jungle?
Sly: What other choice do we have?
Paige: Okay, I'll go with.

These are the nerds you can bet on.


This isn't Gilligan's island. We can't take a couple of coconuts and make a dialysis machine.


Stay in your seats until the Captain turns off the "crap your pants" sign.


Scorpion Season 3 Episode 24 Quotes

Happy: I did a fix like this when I was ice road trucking.
Toby: When you were what now?

Walter: Guys, we're over the Pacific, so get your floatation devices ready.
Sly: Oh god, I forgot about the water. I am not a strong swimmer!