Popular Scrubs Quotes
(Dr. Cox is drinking a glass of scotch)
Dr. Zeltzer: Oh...oh..Slow down there, Big Guy!!
Dr. Cox: Why, Zeltzer? It's not like I'm driving.
Dr. Zeltzer: I know. But there's a roofie in it.
(Dr. Cox faints)
Jordan: I'm not sure if I'm okay with that!!
Dr. Zeltzer: Three... Two.. One!!
(Jordan faints)
Mrs. Zeltzer: Party Time.
Dr. Cox: I have no answers for any of you.
Gloria: But my boyfriend is Bi-curious and he wants me to pick his lovers.
Dr. Cox: I might have an answer for that, Ewwww.
Dr. Kelso: Nurse Espinosa, I need your help with something. My dog, Baxter, passed away last night. I dealt with it emotionally but, unfortunately, I can't stop crying. Anyway, I need you to run interference for me today; keep people from seeing me looking vulnerable and so forth.
Carla: So, you think I'll automatically do this? You think my ego is so big that I'll be flattered that I'm the only one you can open up to? I'll do it.
Carla: At least you stopped crying.
Dr. Kelso: Not really. My body just can't produce tears anymore because I've intentionally dehydrated myself. It's a risky move, I know, but Dr. Jarvis here said it'd be alright.
Carla: There's nobody standing behind you.
Dr. Kelso: I'm going to need an IV.
Turk: Mothers and daughters... they speak so fast, but they speak so true.
(Calls J.D.)
Turk: Did you see it?
J.D.: I'm so mad at Lorelai, I can't even talk right now.
Please don't make me go out for drinks with Barbie and - yes, I know, it's way too easy - Ken!
Dr. Cox
Jordan: You know one of the reasons I divorced Perry was because of his last name.
Elliot: You don't like Cox?
Jordan: Actually I love Cox.
Todd: Greatest conversation ever.
Jordan: See, that's the problem.
Woman: This sausage is huuuuuuge.
Todd: 'cuse me ladies, I'm needed elsewhere.
Elliot: The only problem is his last name. It's Dudemeister.
Jordan: Oh that doesn't even sound real.
Elliot: Well it's actually German, "Du-de-meister", it means master of dudes.
Dr. Cox: You know, Bobbo, I find you less repungent of late. Dare I say I'm developing a begrudging indifference to you.
Dr. Kelso: You're so edgy and cantankerous. You're like House without the limp.
Dr. Cox: Since Sweaty Teddy here backs up his infinitesimal knowledge of the law with absolutely zero knowledge of medicine, one of you is going to have to help him go through the claims deciphered for the medical stuff and somehow relay all of that into his tiny peanut brain. Ted, how many times did I insult you during that speech, I was shooting for five?
Ted: Only three unless you count "Sweaty Teddy" as an insult but my mom calls me that and she loves me, right?
Dr. Cox: No Ted, she hates you. Four. Since Ted has no life and that is five.
Dan: So you got the baby fever, huh?
Elliot: Yeah, hopefully I'm already pregnant with Keith's child.
Keith: Oh come on! I'm 25. I haven't even been to Europe.
Turk: You know what name I have always liked for a girl? Honor.
Carla: Turk, you know how mean boys are. They would be all like: I got Honor. Did you get Honor?
Turk: Yeah everybody got Honor. She is easy!
Carla:It is your daughter!
Turk: Yes it is.
