Scrubs Season 4 Episode 20: "My Boss' Free Haircut" Quotes
Carla: Thank you SO much for letting me stay here, Elliot.
Elliot: Please! And I still have only one rule: I cannot talk or be talked to while I'm on the toilet and also cannot talk or be talked to BY someone who's on the toilet.
Carla: You told me yesterday, Elliot. I get it.
Elliot: Hmmm, you say you get it and still managed to knock this morning and ask if I wanted coffee.
Carla: Oh I just thought-
Elliot: Uh bup bup bup bup buh! Pretend that never happened or I won't poo again for two months.
Turk: I can't go to a carnival. It reminds me of Carla!
J.D.: Why?
Turk: Dude! "Carnival"! Remove the "niv" and switch the "l" and the "a" and you got "Carla"!
Turk! You're not gonna believe this, but I don't know a lot about women. No... it's true!
J.D.
Turk: I brought ya some things: your slippers and, uh, you remember that note you put on the toilet to remind me to put the seat down? Looking at it was making me sad.
Carla: I wrote this the first time I forgot to look down and fractured my tailbone.
Turk: You were in a lot of pain!
J.D.: Why can't Carla just let this go?
Elliot: Wouldn't you be mad if you caught your husband talking to his ex-girlfriend?
J.D.: Yeah, but... mostly because I had a husband.
J.D.'s Narration: You never know who you're gonna find in the cafeteria at five am. It could be the husband who asked his wife after thirty-six hours of labor if the screaming was really necessary. Or the intern whose been on call so many nights in a row she's actually hallucinating...
Intern: Hi I'd like two tickets to Million Dollar Baby.
Nell: Why am I paying you to tell me things I've already figured out on my own?
Dr. Kelso: Maybe because I graduated first in my class at Stanford in 1972?
Nell: [reads her cell phone display] You graduated twelfth in your class in 1968. [shows him the display]
Laverne: She googled your ass.
Dr. Kelso: Laverne, I am not interested in your street lingo. What I am interested in is where she found that magic phone that keeps making me look like an idiot!
