Scrubs Season 1 Episode 9: "My Day off" Quotes
Dr. Kelso: Which most likely indicates what Dr. Reid?
Elliot: I'd say he has a simple case of appendicitis.
Dr. Kelso: And how would you proceed Dr. Dorian?
J.D.: Well, for starters, I would've given me that news in private no matter how angry I was at me.
Dr. Kelso: Sounds like there's some fascinating back story here, turf him to surgery. Moving on
Elliot: Hey we've gotten to know each other over the last week, haven't we?
Mr Davis: I'd say so.
Elliot: And as a doctor you found me comforting?
Mr Davis: God no.
Elliot: Come on, I'm pretty good with people.
Mr Davis: You're horrible with people.
Elliot: I'm warm.
Mr Davis: You're very cold, I mean your hands it's like you're a yeti.
Elliot: I have bad circulation. I- I do this all day and it doesn't help.
Mr Davis: Listen sweety, you're a very efficient competent doctor but your exams - do you examine everyone like that or just people you feel have wronged you in some way?
Elliot: Well, I appreciate your opinion-
Mr Davis: Oh no, it's not an opinion. You see those guys right there they're just pretending to be asleep so you won't manhandle them anymore
Elliot: Great. Carla, everyone likes you so much it makes me wonder-
Carla: Why all your patients think you're a cold fish?
Elliot: Oh my God you noticed?
Carla: No, honey, they told me.
Elliot: Great, anyone needs me I'll be in the supply closet eating sugar packets
Dr. Kelso: See Dave at Sacred Heart we don't treat symptoms, we treat people.
Dr. Benson: Hey, there's something on your back.
Dr. Kelso: What does this one say?
Dr. Benson: "Never stop kicking me" and on the other side is my discharge form. Uh, Bob you tried to discharge me an hour before I almost died?
Dr. Kelso: Well- How very clever.
Dr. Cox: What? It wasn't me. In fact, I think you put it there yourself to get more attention
Mr Davis: If it'll make you feel better, I hate this whole touchy feely culture anyway.
Elliot: Thank you!
Mr Davis: And that whole kiss hello thing.
Elliot: Ugh!
Mr Davis: Ew.
Elliot: Yeah, I don't want anyone touching me unless we're gonna have sex and even then I don't want them to overdo it
J.D.: No seriously man, I want you to know if I ever need surgery again, I want you inside of me.
Turk: I wanna be the one inside you