Scrubs Season 3 Episode 8: "My Friend the Doctor" Quotes
Jordan: I've been thinking about what you said this morning. And you're right, we have not been having enough sex lately.
Dr. Cox: Turns out yes, yes we have.
Jordan: No, we haven't. And tonight, we're gonna do it the way you always fantasized about.
Dr. Cox: Laying down in a big tub of ice?
Elliot: Mr. Moran, I don't want to make any promises, but, uh, your cellulitis is resolving nicely, and I think that you'll be out of the woods soon.
Mr. Moran: So tell me something: How did an old geezer like me end up with the prettiest young doctor in the place?
Elliot: It's actually just a simple rotation system based on when your shift started and the last patient that you've seen-
Mr. Moran: Sweetheart, I'm just paying you a compliment.
Elliot: I have to go... Thanks for saying I'm pretty.
J.D.: Yeah! It's just this whole janitor thing has thrown me for a loop.
Carla: Danni, we should watch the movie in Turk's room, because he's gonna keep talking about the janitor, even though we begged him not to.
J.D.: I won't, sweetie, trust me.
Danni: Let's go.
J.D.: You wanna know what the janitor did today?
Danni/Carla: No!
Carla: Bambi, you idiot.
Carla: Why won't you admit you hurt your back?
Dr. Cox: Carla, come on! Back injuries are for 80-year-old guys named Norman who have pants up to here, nose-hairs down to here, and who start every sentence with the very elegant [snorts and hacks].
J.D.: Why didn't you just tell him you were a doctor?
Elliot: I don't know... I guess I just still don't feel like a doctor, you know? I mean, that whole thing with Turk today really got me thinking. Like, I've ran codes before, but there's always been someone right there ready to bail me out. Like, I've never had that one defining, sink-or-swim moment. Have you?
J.D.: Yeah, but I didn't, like, make a big deal out of it.
Flashback: Reunion
Man: I was just made partner at my law firm. I drive a Beemer. And this is my wife.
J.D.: Oh, well, this is Mr. Booker. He's alive because of me.
Mr. Booker: I thought you said there'd be some bitches here?
J.D.: We just got here! Look around!
End Flashback
J.D.: We actually had a fun night... until he urinated all over my rental car.
Guy: So, what do you do?
Elliot: Oh, I work at a hospital. I'm a resident, which is actually still kind of like a student. Well, not a student as in, like, dorm rooms and pizza runs and crazy, drunken kissing parties - which I know for a fact still go on in Radiology - but more of a student in the sense that-
J.D.: Excuse me. Dude, she's got a boyfriend.
Guy: Thanks, man.
J.D.: So, I've been asking around, and apparently you're known as one of three people: Nigel, the Brit; Klaus, the dim-witted German - yes, I said "dim-witted - or a simple, good-natured stutterer named Efrem.
Carla: Are you okay?
Dr. Cox: Come on! I'm simply posing so your boyfriend can get a picture of me for his "People Who Make Me Feel Like a Little Girl" scrapbook.
Hey, look, Gandhi, now just because you broke out your little Fisher-Price surgery set and somehow managed to not kill somebody for once, doesn't mean you're queen of the world.
Dr. Cox
Oh, are you a big man? What? Yeah. Man, I hope you haven't eaten yet, because I'm about to force-feed you a can of my homemade WHUPASS!
Turk
Turk: Dr. Wen! I was scared when you didn't show up, but... your car accident turned out to be the best thing that's ever happened to me!
Dr. Wen: My wife broke both her legs.
Turk: Heh. Still.
J.D.: Maybe it's just Buddha's way of telling her to slow down a little, you know?
