Scrubs Season 3 Episode 8: "My Friend the Doctor" Quotes
I mean, if I had a dollar for every time I got depressed and my dad didn't make me feel better - Actually, he did give me a dollar every time I got depressed. By the end of junior high, I already had a hundred and seventy bucks... And then got mugged and lost it all. But, by the end of that night, of course, I was back up to a dollar.
Elliot
J.D.: You're an actor.
Janitor: You're a fireman! What are we doing?
J.D.: Game over, Klaus. I saw you in 'The Fugitive'.
Janitor: Ohhh, yeah, yeah. I was in a Harrison Ford movie, but, you know what, I chose this life instead 'cause it's a little more glamorous.
Dr. Kelso: Hey, champ. There's some vomit on the back steps with your name on it.
Janitor: Well, that's my cue. Action!
J.D.: What is wrong with you? Is this because I called you "Smelliot"? Because I can't believe you haven't heard that before.
Elliot: J.D., I don't care if you call me that.
J.D.: Hey, everybody! She's cool with "Smelliot"!
Todd: Oh, so he can call you "Smelliot" but I'm not allowed to call you "Vagina Face"?
Elliot: Not the same, Todd!
Danni: I love 'The Fugitive'. Who would you rather sleep with, Tommy Lee Jones or Harrison Ford?
J.D.: Harrison Ford, hands down!...But you were probably talking to Carla. I'm having such a gay day!
Carla: "Day"?
Dr. Cox: So you're saying your mom made you pancakes this morning, and you didn't even know that it was pancake day in the cafeteria? You get outta here!
Doug: And the craziest thing -
Dr. Cox: No, I'm serious, Nervous Guy. Get outta here!
Todd: You know, Nigel, I'm twenty-five percent British.
Janitor(British accent): Really? I'm one hundred percent not interested!
Todd: Ohh! Classic Nigel!
Doctor: Goodnight, Efrem!
Janitor: Goo-goo-goo-goodnight... doctor.
Turk: Hey, baby. Todd and I are going to the arcade, so I'm a get some quarters out your purse.
Carla: I'm old.
J.D.'s Narration: Others eventually accept who they are.
Dr. Cox: Yeah, well I'm older. Now would you please get me down to my damn car?
Carla: Sure, let's get your big Irish ass to your car so nobody knows that you hurt your back! Let's not worry about my back!
