Scrubs Season 3 Episode 17: "My Moment of Un-Truth" Quotes
Carla: Go ahead, look.
Turk: Really, baby?
Carla: Yeah. Besides, you're cutting up your napkin.
Elliot: How did you know that he was lying?
Dr. Cox: Well, you said that he wasn't; and as a rule, I always take whatever you say and just go in the exact opposite direction with it. But, more than that, Barbie, the main reason is because... well, lookit, medicine is all about experience. Hell, wouldja... wouldja like to go ahead and have a look at who the last doctor was to give Thompson drugs?
Dr. Cox: Oh!
Elliot: Why didn't you say something earlier?
Dr. Cox: What, give up my front-row seat to Barbie's Wild Ride? "He's a drug addict! He's not a drug addict! You... make... me... doubt... my...self! You're more interested in being right than doing what's right! And I just couldn't take it! Can't take it anymore!"
J.D.'s Narration: It's even harder when it's the hundredth time.
Dr. Cox: Say it.
Elliot: You're always right.
Dr. Cox: I know! But it is still so nice to hear it.
Janitor: Yuk it up, I don't care. I'm getting the last laugh! 'Cause my brother's waiting for me downstairs, and when these elevator doors open, you'll see, he's gonna be staring right at you two guys.
They all stand there and wait. The elevator arrives and the doors open. No one is there.
Janitor: Okay, I don't know what I thought was gonna happen, but I think we can all agree that this isn't working out, it's costing me a tremendous amount of time and effort, so let's just call it a draw.
Turk: Hell, no! You lost! Live with it!
Carla: But still, what if I want to tell him?
J.D.: Well, that's up to you, isn't it! Gotta go!
He rattles his Mardi Gras beads
Carla: Damn beads.
J.D.: Anyway, I don't think Turk's gonna be as excited about your big date as you are. All right? He definitely won't love the fact that I knew about it. So just... tell him in five years.
Turk: You did what!?
J.D.: Make that twenty years.
Turk: Honey, that was a long time ago... Why are you still living here?
J.D.: Because I've got nowhere else to go!
Carla: I'm gonna go tell Turk.
J.D.'s Narration: Awww, that's great. She's gonna go- Wait, what?
J.D. grabs her before she gets to Turk
J.D.: Whatever you do, don't scream.
Carla: Why would I scream?
J.D.: I don't know. People always said that in the movies.
Carla: I felt nothing for him! How cool is that!
J.D.: I had a dream just like this... except I had a saddle on my back and you were an Indian. Turk was a donkey.
Dr. Ramirez: You know, I have to leave for a lecture tour on Monday, but I'm back the last week in April, so maybe we can get together then.
Carla: I'm getting married April 24th.
Dr. Ramirez: So then our plans would totally interfere with your honeymoon.
Carla: A little bit.
J.D.: Beads, keep me strong!
Turk: Nag! Nag! Nag! Nag! You see how Carla is lately. I mean, is that all I have to look forward to?
J.D.: I hear they're coming out with a 'Stuart Little 3'.
Turk: Nah, it's on hold. The director dropped out.
J.D.'s Narration: I guess you can never underestimate how the smallest gesture can make everything better.
J.D.: You know, for a minute there I actually thought you had a twin brother.
Janitor: Was it when my twin brother was here?
J.D.: Stop it.