Dr. Cox: Yes, m'lady?
J.D.: So? You feeling all glahh!?
Dr. Cox: That depends, does "glahh!" mean confused and incredibly annoyed?
J.D.: Come on man, it's our last week together! The J.D. and Cox train is pulling into the station. You must have a metaphor you want to use, hit me with it.
Dr. Cox: I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week together. Let me see...eh...em.. low-carb diets, Michael Moore, the Republican National Convention, Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products, high-def T.V., the Bush daughters, wireless hot spots, The O.C., the U.N., recycling, getting punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammies, the real Grammies, Jeff that Wiggle who sleeps too darn much, the Yankee's payroll, the Red States, the Blue States, every hybrid car, every talk show host, everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, and everything, everything, everything, everything everything, everything, everything, everything that exists, past, present and future in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions. Oh, and Hugh Jackman.
J.D.: Hugh Jackman's Wolverine! How dare he?

(To Elliot in the elevator) Hey, buddy! What's with the giant needle?


Elliott: Who's Johnny?
Dr. Molly Clock: You know, he's a resident? He's got gelled up hair and he and his friends are in a motorcycle gang?
Elliott: I knew it!

Dr.Cox: Good God Fantasia, you don't actually think I've actually I'm done teaching you, do you? Do you not understand that the only difference between today and tomorrow is that you wake up tomorrow and start coming in here and killing people and nobody can say: "It's no big deal, he's just a resident." Instead, what they're damn sure gonna be wondering, is who tried to educate your sorry ass. And when that finger of blame starts pointing in my direction. I had damn sure better be in a coma, from the anger stroke I suffered from the last time that you tried to hug me. Oh and don't be late tomorrow, doctor.

Molly, Molly, Molly. You lost me at hello.


Dr.Cox: Mark my words, the first year of marriage is just a treat. (Looks at Jordan) Sweetheart, do you remember ours?
Jordan: The silly fighting for control.
Dr.Cox: You broke my jaw.
Jordan: (Looks at J.D., Carla and Turk) You gotta stop that back talk early.

Molly: This is a really windy hospital.
Janitor: Oh, I'm sorry. I was, er, drying up a patient's urine.

Carla: See, even though I make all the decisions, whenever I see Turk is getting upset, I throw him a little decision that means nothing to me. Like buying a new car - as long as it's got four wheels and air conditioning, I'm hap... py.
Turk: Check it, baby! Scooters!
Carla: Hehhh.
Dr. Cox: Fantastic!

That joyride around the hospital made me realize two things. First, it's a bad idea to take a full bladder out on your hog.

J.D.'s Narration

Carla: Yeah, still, the point is I'm smarter than you.
Dr. Cox: In relationships?
Carla: In everything.
Dr. Cox: Right!

J.D.'s Narration: Also, I had to draw upon all my medical experience to get Mr. Radford out of bed.
J.D.: Mr. Radford, they're showing 'Cocoon' in the chapel!
Mr. Radford: I'm not a big Guttenberg fan.
J.D.: Well, you're the only one, 'cause people in the hall are going crazy!

J.D.: Woohoo! Ring around the Janitor! Pocket full of-
Janitor: You're funny. Pocket full of what?
J.D.: ...Zanitor.
Janitor: Not a word!

Scrubs Season 4 Episode 1 Quotes

Elliot: It's so strange feeling all alone when like a month ago I was part of this really tight group, you know?
Molly: Yeah. I had tons of friends at my old hospital.
Elliot: I gotta meet some new people.
Molly: Do you wanna, uh, get a cup of coffee tonight?
Elliot: Can't. I'm hitting the internet hard and going on a friend hunt!

Molly: So, where were we?
J.D.: Er... we weren't talking.
Molly: Was it 'cause of something you did? 'Cause I'm totally over it. I don't even remember what it was.
J.D.: No, I mean like, we've never talked.
Molly: How do I know your name then?
J.D.: You don't.
Molly: You're freaking me out Jimmy.
J.D.: It's Johnny.
J.D.'s thoughts: Why would you say Johnny? You hate Johnny.