Dr. Cox: Well done, there, Bobbo. When my patients ask me where I was all afternoon, I'll just tell them I was too busy attending this ridiculous chat-fest with you and Dr. What's-He-Over-Compensating-For? here.
Carla: Did I say any of you boys could talk? No, I did not. Now, this part is especially important, so I need everyone's full attention.
J.D. passes the window.
Dr. Cox: You come here, you rat-bastard!
Carla: Awesome!

J.D.: Well, you wouldn't see my face because it would be buried in your chest, giving you the hug you've been afraid to ask for your whole life!
Dr. Cox: Huh!
J.D.: Now, if you don't want my help, then fine, I'll back off... But only because I feel a little bit guilty.
Dr. Cox: About what?
Ted: Dr. Cox, you received four complaints about calling male residents by girl's names.
Dr. Cox: Oh-ho. JUDY!

Dr. Cox: May I ask you something, there, Judy? Do you have any idea what it's like to have three angry, under-fed women tear you several new ones for a full hour?
J.D.: Actually, yes. I caught the matinee of that show; definitely not for the whole family.

Dr. Miller: Dr. Turk? I asked you to apologize.
Turk: I have nothing to apologize for.
Dr. Miller: Then get out of my O.R... Awww... Are you gonna cry like a little boy? See how I flipped it?

Thirty four, thirty five, thirty six... Todd, you have thirty seven complaints of sexual harassment!


J.D.: I think we should all be happy with the bras God gave us! I really should go.
Maddie: Oh, it's all right. We were going to go to the gym, but I could just as easily throw up instead.

Maddie: Of course, we will leave, but before we go, Allie could really use a man's opinion.
Allison: Does this bra make my boobs look real?
J.D.: Ohh, yes.
Allison: Damn. Let's switch.

Turk: Agility exercises?
Todd: No. I'm air-fondling Dr. Miller's boobies. Who's with me?

Todd: She just talked to me like I'm an idiot.
Turk: Hot chick, 12 o'clock.
Todd's eyes fly up to the ceiling.
Elliot: Wow.
Turk: I know.

Hot Doc, 3 o'clock!... I mean 5 o'clock!... Over there!


Maddie: Where can one get a nice gin and tonic?
J.D.: You know, down the street on the right, they'll make an appletini that'll knock your socks off.
Maddie: Right! Let's go and get drunk before pilates!

Allison: Hey, I've been sharing a guest room with razor-knees, here, for the last two weeks. Do you have a queen bed?
J.D.: Well, it would be "queen" if I took my "cwothes" off it.
Maddie: Ooh, he's quick. What's he like in the sack?
Jordan: Quicker.

Scrubs Season 3 Episode 15 Quotes

Todd: Gotta grab those.
Dr. Kelso: No!
Staffer: Ugh!
Dr. Kelso: Remember, we look... but we don't touch.
Todd: Okay.

Dr. Cox: You know, honey, I'm-I'm here now, if you-if you want your friends to leave.
Jordan: We're getting chemical peels tomorrow.
Dr. Cox: Oh. Okay.