Scrubs Quotes
Turk: Dude, there you are. Two things; First, the aliens are here and they're wearing track suits.
J.D.: Oh, that's Nana.
Dr. Cox: Ok, the uh, antibiotics have brought your fever down. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Patient: Yeah, I'm auditioning for my church's senior citizen production of Street Car Named Desire. Would you mind running lines with me?
Dr. Cox: Yeah, I'd be happy to.
Patient: If I didn't know you was my wife's sister, I'd get ideas about you.
Dr. Cox: I can't believe you think... I would do this with you... Seriously, I'm a doctor.
Patient: What page are you on?
Janitor: You know I made up that whole hawk story?
Carla: Yeah. I know you're not as weird as you want people to think you are.
Newbie! Snap out of it. There's no time for your daydreaming.
Dr. Cox
Turk: Wait. Wait! T-this is the only way that I could suck up to Kelso without the other surgeons knowing about it.
Janitor: There you are! You're not Mr. Sommers.
Turk: No, I'm not.
Jake: Dr. Turk what happened to you?
Turk: I found the latest issue of "Vengeance" in a comic book store a mile and a half away. Here you go. Actually I ran there in... a foam needle suit, but, you don't care.
J.D.'s Narration: Now that Elliot and Keith were serious, she started buying him gifts.
Keith: Oh hoho. I-It's a mouth harp... awesome.
Get a load of Mr Extra Mile Guy's leukaemia patient, sitting in there all by herself. Knowing him, he's probably out getting her a cake, shaped like a cancerous white blood cell.
Dr. Cox
Personally, me, I believe medicine is about more than treating the disease. You gotta be there for people. Take Mrs. Cohen, when she broke h er hip, I treated that. But she had also left her car double-parked so being an "extra mile" kind of guy, I went and took care of it.
J.D.
Turk: I mean, how could I be fourth?! I know Bonnie's good and Figsack has mad hands, but somehow I keep forgetting that Todd is a skilled surgeon.
Todd: Hey, how come you didn't page me about that surgical consult?
Elliot: I did. You're wearing your garage door opener on your hip.
Turk: Ladies and gentlemen... number 2!
Carla: Kelso's gonna kill me. I can't find Mr. Sommers.
Janitor: Did you look between Mr. Spring and Mr. Fall? Ha ha, too easy.
Carla: Ow! What, are you wearing a cup?
Janitor: Well, people try to hit me there more than you think.
