Scrubs Season 2 Quotes
J.D.: I can't believe she called me "sir."
Turk: She called me "mister."
Carla: Maybe it's because you're bald?
Turk: I'm not bald - I shave my head.
Carla: Well, then, let it grow back.
Turk: Careful, honey!
J.D.: We're practically kids!
Elliot: Really? Well, what are you doing for Halloween tomorrow night?
Turk: Well, we used to dress up as pigs and hit every bar in town!
J.D.: Yeah! You have not lived until you've seen a drunken pig do The Robot.
Carla: She didn't ask what you used to do, she asked what you're doing this Halloween.
Turk: We got plans!
J.D.: Big plans!
Elliot: Watch T.V. and sleep?
Turk: Yeah, pretty much.
J.D.: Oh, I may take a bath first.
Turk: Bubbles?
J.D.: Give me some!
J.D.: What the hell are you doing here?
Dr. Cox: You know, it's funny, Vivian, I was just going to ask you the exact same question, seeing as how I paged you four minutes and thirty-eight seconds ago.
J.D.: Dr. Cox, this is my big brother, Dan! He just showed up unexpected!
Dr. Cox: Heh. Four minutes and forty-four seconds.
Dan: Whoa, whoa; easy, there, chief! Why don't we have one of those nurses, there, pour you a big, tall glass of calm down juice?
Carla: So, Dan, what brings you to town?
Dan: Oh, some guy hired me to fly here, drive his Mercedes back - I figure it's an easy way to pick up some extra cash.
Carla: Oh. Plus, you get to hang out with Bambi!
J.D.'s Narration: Maybe he'll let that go...
Dan: Bambi?
J.D.: Well, you know, it's a term of endearment that only Carla uses.
Dan: I respect that, Bambi.
Carla: Well, that's smart, because you do not want to get on Bambi's bad side and suffer the wrath of Bambi! Brrr!
J.D.: Why are you here?
Carla: Oh, uh, Room 310's test came back negative, I thought you might want to give him the good news.
Dan: Let me do it.
J.D.: What?
Dan: I can totally be a doctor.
J.D.: I can't let you tell him!
Dan: I won't call you Bambi anymore.
J.D.: You need to understand, Elliot, Dan wasn't just the captain of every team - he was like the mayor of our high school. The jocks dug him, the burn-outs dug him, the nerds, like, worshipped him!
Elliot: What about you?
Dan: He mentioned the nerds.
J.D.: See, why hurt me?
Elliot: Yeah, I thought I was gonna be cool in high school for like five minutes, but then my dad made me play the tuba in the marching band and I developed massive forearms. Halfway through the prom, my silk gloves exploded off me like I was the Incredible Hulk.
Dan: You know I think it's sexy to dance with a woman who can lift her partner over her head.
Dr. Cox: Hey, Ghandi. For your information, I attended that poor vegetable's funeral every single time I set foot in his room over the last six weeks. Thank God the family finally moved him over to Surgery, where you guys were good enough to help him kick that nasty oxygen habit he had once and for all.
Turk: Oh, that's great - make jokes. You know, I wish I could be an insensitive, cynical robo-doc like you, but unfortunately, I don't hate the world enough. You know what I'm saying, chief?
Dan: So, while I'm here, we should play some frisbee golf, we should... maybe give dad a call... Dad. Oh, we should definitely make sure I sleep with that Elliot chick.
J.D.: That's a little weird for me 'cause... I don't know if you'd know this or not, but... we used to be intimate.
Dan: Int-inimate? What'd you do, bathe her?
J.D.: Yeah, once... but she was wearing a swimsuit.
Dr. Cox: God, I hate Halloween!
Carla: Somebody needs to adjust their attitude if they want some candy.
Dr. Cox: You mean the popcorn balls and the deformed lollipos? I mean, honestly, where do you get this crap anyway?
Laverne: I made it! If you want name-brand candy, my fist is packed with peanuts!
Dr. Cox: You stood up for what you believe in, and I respect that.
Turk: Thank you.
Dr. Cox: Twenty bucks says you kill him.
Turk: You're on!
Dr. Kelso: Finally, can anyone tell me the dermatologic condition associated with rhinophyma... Dr. Murphy?
Doug: Uh, could it be... psoriasis?
Dr. Kelso: And yet further proof that the clown costume is redundant.
