Scrubs Season 2 Quotes
Carla: Excuse me for not having all your male ambition. I can't believe anyone would look down on me because I'm good at what I do, and because I love doing it!
Turk: I'm sick to my stomach.
Carla: Me too, Turk! Me too!
Turk: No, Baby, I'm serious; I think I'm in trouble here.
Dr. Cox: How's, uh, how's MeatHead?
Carla: I know I'm not a doctor, but if you could order a strong antiemetic, that would be great.
Dr. Cox: For the record, you know you would ace that nurse practitioners program.
Carla: Really? You think so? Well, what if the classes are too hard? What if the teachers are mean? What if the other kids don't like me?
J.D.: You see that nurse over there? I love her. Every night at 10:30 for the last year, I've watched her come in here and get a cup of coffee. And not once have I had the courage to even ask her her name.
Elliot: Well, if it makes you feel any better, she has a snaggletooth.
Mike: Dude, you're gonna love this!
J.D.: I don't wanna do it.
Elliot: Come on, what's the worst that could happen?
J.D.: We could die!
Elliot: Okay, the second worst?
Dr. Cox: You know newbie, it's so interesting, I found I couldn't sleep last night, so in order to pass the time, I started to make a list of things that annoy me more than you. Anyway, I came up with people who call Wednesdays "Hump Day", of course all Sandra Bullock movies but now I'm thrilled to announce your brother tops the list which is...
Dan: Hey, chief! Does this speech have an intermission? 'Cause I gotta go to the lobby and take a wizz.
Dr. Cox: Aaaactually, I'm not so keen on nicknames from guys that barely know me!
Dan: Aaaaactually, why don't you tell me what you keen on?
Dr. Cox: Dodging a funeral? Nice!
Turk: Excuse me?
Dr. Cox: Just a veteran move from the baby face sophomore. The whole "I'm sorry for your loss" thing was a little Hallmarky for me but darnit all, if you're not showing just a ton of promise.
Turk: So, Dr. Cox, your intern asked for a surgical consult on Mr. Karny?
Dr. Cox: Yeah.
Turk: I suggest we do a fem-pop bypass.
Dr. Cox: Mr. Karny is a frail old man, who'd probably snap in half from a light sponge bath.
Turk: All I'm saying is if we do surgery, we can improve his quality of life.
Dr. Cox: The guy's a thousand. What's he gonna take a steamer over to Europe, open up a cafe and finally meet that nine-hundred year-old girl of his dreams?
Now before you get too awful high up on your horse there Tonto, I feel it's my duty to remind you of just a little something. See you just made a twenty-dollar bet on whether a fellow human-being would live or die. Now tell me, just exactly how does that make you feel Mr. Sensitive? Pretty good? All the best.
Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: Hahaha...
Carla: Why are you laughing?
Dr. Cox: Well off the top of my head I'd have to say it's because he's suffering. But of course I love the poetry of someone putting themself way up on a pedestal and getting knocked the hell back down into this puddle of self-hatred with the rest of us.
Carla: Did you do this to him?
Dr. Cox: No. Did anyone ever really do anything to anyone else?
Carla: You're gonna tell why you did this, and it better be good.
Dr. Cox: How does, for poops and giggles grab ya?
Dr. Cox: Lemme guess, you're off to another funeral. I'll make you a deal you come with me right now and if you're still late for the graveyard, I will personally scour the obituaries with you this weekend and we can just go nuts.
Turk: Carla put you up to this?
Dr. Cox: No it was my idea. I desperately want to be close with you, I just can't figure out how to connect. Turn around. Turn around. You see Dr. Wen in there? He's explaining to that family that something went wrong and that the patient died. He's gonna tell them what happened, he's gonna say he's sorry and then he's going back to work. Do you think anybody else in that room is going back to work today? That is why we distance ourselves, that is why we make jokes. We don't do it because it's fun, we do it so we can get by and sometimes because it's fun. But mostly its the gettin' by thing. Oh and by the way (bobs head) "Bob", who doesn't get that?
Dan: Touch-and-go there for a while. You're a fighter! You pulled through. We're gonna get you out of here today, but... I'd like you to keep an eye on those... rickles.
Patient: Rickles is my last name.
Dan: You bet it is. Do you have kids?
Patient: Yeah, two.
Dan: That's what I'm saying. Let's keep an eye on the little Rickles - children are our future!
J.D.: Doctor, it's an emergency, we need you right away.
Dan: Dammit, Bambi, I'm busy! So hard to find a good male nurse these days. Am I right?
Turk: How 'bout this one?
J.D.: You want to get a clear shower curtain? Why don't I just nude up in the living room and you can spray me down with a hose.
Turk: Dude, if you're gonna be that self-conscious, I could always doodle in chest hairs right about where you'd stand.
J.D.: I have a chest hair... I named him Clancy.
