Shameless
Sundays 9:00 PM on ShowtimePopular Shameless Quotes
Everytime she pees on the stick it's bad news and then I get depressed thinking about my husband banging my mom cause we selfishly wanna have a baby with some of our DNA.
V
Gus: See you at two.
Fiona: Wouldn't miss it.
Debbie: Where's your house?
Queenie: My tent's right up there.
Debbie: Your tent?
Sheila: Do you know what this is?
Frank: An eggplant?
Sheila: Liberation!
Frank: Where's the money?
Fiona: Ask Kung Fu Panda.
Robbie: Game recognizes game.
Fiona: We are nothing alike.
Carl: Hey, do you guys think it's weird that I'm in love with my rapist?
Mickey: You weren't raped.
The silverware has been going missing.
Maid
Frank. You best hope you don't get blamed, gossiper.
I'm not gonna ask your forgiveness because you bunch didn't do s--- for me, so let's just call it a draw. I know some of ya think ya hate my guts, and truth be told I never liked any of you much either. But we're all Gallaghers. My only advice is to stop worrying so damn much. You're supposed to ask people on their death bed if they wish they'd worked more or spent more time with their family. [Laughs] Me, hell, I wish I'd partied more. Nobody ever said our neighborhood was the Garden of Eden but it's been a good home to us, to me, and you kids. I'm proud of all of you, because every single one of you reminds me a little bit of me, Lip, you're smart as a whip, you just can't seem to get out of your own way. You'll figure it out. Ian, industrious, incredible work ethic, not a clue where you got that from — got the mental illness from your mother. The only way I can understand how you ended up marrying a Milkovich. Carl, I never could figure you out. Can't believe you betrayed the family and became a cop. I'm hoping you're already on the take. Debbie, you remind me of your mother, and not in a good way. Good luck in life, you're gonna need it. Liam, you're the apple of my eye, you handsome devil. Everybody says you look just like me. Oh, Kev, Veronica, you're overrated as friends, always sticking your noses in my family's business where they don't belong. You're moving, I say good riddance. And me, Frank Gallagher, father, teacher, mentor, captain of our little ship. People say you can't drink your troubles away, I say you're just not drinking enough. I guess that's it. Not much left to say really. Except, time's precious, don't f---ing waste it. Have a good time. I sure as hell did.
Frank
Frank: It came out great, Carl.
Ian: Where the hell have you been?
Frank: Smoked up all my meth, got over your mother and now I'm a new man.
Guess our reputation as a shit hole is still safe.
Waitress
She said she had some personal business. I change her diaper, what's more personal than that?
Frank
