I'm the one he's chosen to spend his life with. You're just one lucky sperm.


He's not my boyfriend now. He's my friend until I'm 16 and it's legally consensual for us to have intercourse.


Frank: Who the hell is Gary?
Sammi: He's one of your new Native American kids. I think he's the one with the Justin Bieber haircut.

Jesus guys, it's 90 days in country club jail. It's not Guantanamo. She's probably learning a useful trade and brushing up on her Spanish.


Nobody's gonna roll me. I carry pepper spray and a shiv.


Mickey have a seat man. Nobody give a shit who you bang.


I feel a little bit like "Pretty Woman."


What's the point of getting a new liver if the damn thing won't do what it's designed to do?


Mental illness Russian Roulette with Monica's DNA as the bullet.


We're taking care of him here. You, me, us. He's f**king family.

Mickey [to Fiona]

I promise, I'm gonna be a better dad.

Kev: Look I'm just trying to put everything in the past okay? I'm a conscientious objector now.
Mickey: What the f*ck does that mean?
Kev: I don't really know. Something to do with Muhammed Ali. Peace and love.

Shameless Season 4 Quotes

I haven’t abused marijuana like the rest of you, so yes I remember.


Fiona: Hey Carl you got any Bears stuff I could wear to the game today? Like a hat or jersey or something?
Carl: I got a fuck Jay Cutler t-shirt but it might have some blood on it.