South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Quotes
Oh, well don't fart on grandma, she's trying to enjoy her ham.
Stephen Stotch
Our Linda certainly does know her way around a pork.
Stephen Stotch
Kyle: Just be careful you don't end up naked and jackin' it in San Diego.
Stan: What the hell does that mean?
You're gonna stop bullying. With Cartman singing about his vagina.
Kyle
You may only have an internet degree, but why don't you start acting like a real school counselor, and not a backwoods little dork, mmkay?
Bucky Bailey
Cartman: I have balls.
Red: Yeah, little swishy boba tea balls.
Cartman: Still balls.
Stan: Dude, did a bully take your lunch money again week?
Butters: Yeah.
Stan: That's the third day in a row, you gotta tell a teacher.
Butters: Nah, I'm not a tattle-tale.
Stan: Then write the principal an anonymous letter.
Butters: Nah, I'm not an Anonymous Andy.
Clyde: So just get a bigger bully to beat the bully up.
Butters: Nah, I don't want kids calling me kids calling me a cliche conflict resolution Kevin.
No no no, I'm telling you guys, music videos have devolved to nothing but pretty girls, wearing skintight clothes, singing about their vajayjay. Used to be chicks talking about relationships, now it's all my vajayjay this, my vajayjay that. But clearly that's what sells.
Cartman
So God makes it rain frogs? That just seems kind of mean to frogs, Kyle!
Cartman
Hello young man. Let me off start off by saying Sooper Foods is absolutely not an anti-Semitic company. But, if your people do have a monster creature that feeds on Easter children, we just wanted to let you know that there's a sacrifice for it in the park that is totally fun and safe to eat. Thank you.
Mr. Billings
Mr. Billings: Our entire business is based on fun and safety!
Cartman: This isn't safe or fun!
Those cryptozoologists don't know what they're talking about. They just gave me a case of the Hebrew-jeebies, that's all
Cartman
