South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Quotes
That's just your brain levels adjusting back to the real world.
Cynic
Nurse: Why are there hamburgers in your underwear?
Cartman: Are you serious? You're saying I have Aspergers?
Oh no, I'm the Japanese and I had a bad day. I think I'm gonna kill myself!
Lu Kim
It's clear it isn't our parenting. We're awesome.
Mr. Stotch
Ma'am, the Crack Baby Athletic Association is a storied institution that was founded over twelve days ago.
Cartman
Screw you sir, I'm going home.
Cartman
I don't make up the rules. I just think them up and write them down.
Cartman
Do you believe your child is male or female or too hideously deformed to tell?
Cartman
Somebody's gotta eat all that bacon, Kyle... might as well be us. Welcome to the firm.
Cartman
My name is Sarah McLachlan and I was famous for two months.
Sarah McLachlan
Butters I don't have time for this. I can't wait if your wiener is pulling a scared turtle.
Cartman
Randy: Sometimes a man can feel like how long his penis is is actually important but is it? When you boys measured your penis length the truth is it doesn't really matter. What does matter is: length times diameter plus weight over girth divided by angle of the tip squared. [((l x d) (w / g))/∠αt^2]
