Wendy: Truth or dare?
Stan: (like Chef) Dare.
Bebe: I dare you to shove this twig up your pee-hole.
Stan: SICK!

Mrs. Marsh: Did you find it?
Mr. Marsh: Give me a second would you.
Mrs. Marsh: Don't snap at me.
Mr. Marsh: I didn't snap at you!
Mrs. Marsh: You snapped at me!
Mr. Marsh: Whatever.
Mrs. Marsh: Whatever? In 15 years you've never said whatever to me.
Mr. Marsh: I don't want to fight I'm sorry.
Mrs. Marsh: I'm sorry too.
Mr. Marsh: Hey, I think I found it.
Mrs. Marsh: That's not it you idiot.
Mr. Marsh: HEY BACK OFF (beep)!
Mrs. Marsh: (Gasps) You just said the "C" word!
Mr. Marsh: ........Did I?

Fat Abbot: Hey, Hey, Hey. What's goin' on Rudy?
Rudy: Man Fat Abbot, you need to lose weight.
Fat Abbot: I'll lose weight when I feel like it bitch, shut you're bitch ass mouth hoe.
Rudy: Bitch! I'll kick yo ass.
Kyle: WHOA DUDE!
Stan: SWEET!
Fat Abbot: You think you slick you punk ass blasphemous dope-fiend bitch, I had my Jimmy waxed seven times last week, I'll bust a cap in you're *beep* ass *beep* head!
Kyle: Wow, cartoons are getting really dirty.

Killer-weak-sweet.

Cartman

Don't lie Stan. Lying makes you sterile.

Mr. Garrison

Stan: If you wanna play Americans versus Bosnians, then you can just play with yourself.
Cartman: Fine, I'll play with myself! I'll play with myself all day along!

(Cartman is sitting on Kenny)
Cartman: Cartman Von Cartman has ways of making you talk! (Farts)
Kenny: Aaah!

Nurse Gollum: This is the strangest thing I've ever seen.
Mr. Mackey: Please, Nurse, for a woman with a dead fetus on her head you're not being very open-minded.

Cartman: I could sing the cheesy poof song with both hands tied behind my back!
Kyle: You couldn't get both hands behind your back, fatty!

Cartman: But Mr. Garrison, I have to go and sing the Cheesy Poofs song!
Mr. Garrison: No Eric, you have to come in the Planetarium and look at a bunch of stupid stars.

Fat ass Cartman was not on the school bus today, what a big fat turd.

Kyle

Why hello. If it isn't my little friends with all their little dreams.

Cartman

South Park Season 2 Quotes

(As Steve Irwin) Look! A king croc! (Walks up to a cow) Now, what I'm going to do, is jam my finger up it's... (The cow sits on him, then gets up, with Cartman stuck in his butt) Hey, get me outta here! Huh, kinda smells like Kenny's house in here!

Cartman

The fireman is very magical. Rub his helmet and he spits in your eye.

Cartman