Now get the fudge out of my house.


Cous-cous: Nobody came again!
Chef: There there, Cous-cous. It'll be alright. Maybe you just need to change your image.
Cous-cous: What do you mean?
Chef: Nobody wants to see a guy named Cous-cous. You need a big, strong, beefy name.
Cous-cous: Beefy, like Tri-Tip!
Chef: That's not bad. Here, have some meat loaf.
(back to present day)
Meat Loaf: I owe everything to Chef.

I will do the German dance for you, it's fun and gay and tra-la-la. I hope you will enjoy my dance, fiddle-ey-aye, fiddle-ey-aye. Would you like some sauerkraut, German boy, German boy? Yes, I'd like some sauerkraut, boy I'm hungry!


Chef told me to get a pompadour hat. I thought he said "bite the head of a bat" and the rest is history.


Stan: Oh my god, Ozzy Osbourne bit Kenny's head off!
Kyle: You bastard!

Judge Moses: Mr. Chef, you've been found guilty for harrassing a major record label. The full fee of two million dollars will be handed over within 24 hours.
Chef: Do I look like I have two million dollars?
Judge Moses: Well, you have 24 hours to find it, or else you'll have to go to jail for eight million years!
Man: (whispering) It's actually for four years.
Judge Moses: Oh, sorry. You'll go to jail for four years.
Chef: This can't be happening!

Mr. Garrison: Mr- Mr. Twig, are you OK? Mr- Mr. Twig?
(He lifts up the covers and notices Mr. Twig broken)

Look at the monkey. Look at the silly little monkey. (Juror's head explodes)

Johnnie Cochran

Elton John: Wake up Wendy, smell the coffee
Kyle: (To Stan) Dude, that's your song for Wendy!
Cartman: Ha-ha! You're a wuss! (Stan hits him)

Look Elton, you are a great singer, but a retarded monkey could write better lyrics.


(When Mr. Garrison takes Mr. Twig to the hospital for his burns.
Mr. Garrison: Well, is he going to be all right doctor?
Doctor: Uh. It's a stick.

Jimbo: What's all the ruckus over there?
Mayor: Sounds like somebody declared shenanigans.
Jimbo: Oh, hell, I have to run home and grab my broom!

South Park Season 2 Quotes

Dr. Doctor: We must split up into two teams: Team A and Team B. Team A will consist of myself, Stan, Kyle, Eric, Chef, and Nurse Goodly. Team B will consist of Kenny. Now, listen closely, Team B. Your goal will be to turn on the backup generator. To do this you must brave the storm outside and get into this sewage duct. Meanwhile, Team A will go to the holding area, here where there is a television, and some cocoa. We will drink the cocoa and watch family programming until Team B makes it through the sewage duct. By that time, Team B, remember that's you Kenny, should reach the outer core of the generator. It will be a cold and dangerous climb to the top, and there could be velociraptors here. Once you reach the top, you should be able to get a clear view from this window of us drinking cocoa and watching television. Then, you could proceed down into the generator, and power it on. Are there any questions?
Cartman: No, that sounds pretty sweet to me.
Dr. Doctor: Great, then, let's do it. Go, Team!
Kenny: (muffled) Huh?

(As Steve Irwin) Look! A king croc! (Walks up to a cow) Now, what I'm going to do, is jam my finger up it's... (The cow sits on him, then gets up, with Cartman stuck in his butt) Hey, get me outta here! Huh, kinda smells like Kenny's house in here!