South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Season 3 Quotes
For the last time I am not Garrison-san! and this is not Hat-san!
Mr. Garrison
My fellow Americans, I wish to address the concerns many of us have over the growing number of Japanese military bases forming in the United States. The new Japanese emperor, Hirohito, has made our own children into fighter pilots who will soon fly to Hawaii and attack Pearl Harbor. I spoke with Mr. Hirohito this morning, and he assured me that I have a very large penis. He said it was mammoth, dinosauric, and absolutely dwarfed his penis, which, he assured me, was nearly microscopic in size. My penis, he said, was most likely one of the biggest on the planet. I applaud Mr. Hirohito in his honesty. Thank you.
Bill Clinton
Chinpokomon Executive: You are American.
South Park Toy Store Owner: Yes.
Chinpokomon Executive: Ohhh, you must have very big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Excuse me, I was just asking you what your up to with these toys.
Chinpokomon Executive: Nothing, we are very simple people with very small penis. Mr. Hosik's penis is especially small!
Mr. Hosik: So small.
Chinpokomon Executive: We cannot achieve so much with such small penis, but you American wow, penis so big, so big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Well aah I guess it is pretty good size.
Dude, you're just jealous because I'm Chinpoko Master!
Kyle
What the hell? What the f--k is this?
Kenny
(Mumbling as two more speeders fly by and bomb him to bits; then the rats converge on him.)
DJ: Well here's some kids enjoying the Halloween haunt now. Hey boys, what do you think of cozy FM's Halloween haunt so far?
Stan: This one time, like eight months ago, I saw two guys kissing in a park. And that was the gayest thing I'd ever seen until I saw the cozy FM Halloween haunt.
Voice: Hi Kyle.
Kyle: (hops back) Aaaah!
Cartman: (who's providing the voice) Have you been a good boy, Kyle? Have you been making Grandma proud?
Kyle: Dammit Cartman! That's not funny!
Stan: (chuckling) Eh, eh! Yes it is.
Cartman: Heh heh, I'm sweet.
Kyle: Alright, alright, let's get this over with so we can put her back.
Stan: Okay, grab the sled.
Oh! Nibblet!
Korn
Cartman: Maybe we should shove a stick up her ass and use her as a puppet. Ooooooooh! Scaaarry Grraaanddmma!
Kyle: Alright Cartman, that does it! That's my Grandma, you show her some Goddamn respect!
Liane: Eric's not fat. He's just big boned.
Kyle: Well he must have a huge bone up his ass, then!
(Korn catches the pirate ghosts in a net.)
Jonathan Davis: Now let's see who these pirate ghosts really are.
(The pirate ghosts disappear.)
Jonathan Davis: Oh I guess they really were pirate ghosts.
Halloween is an abomination of God, a celebration of the occult!
Father Maxi
